2013

With a flip of the calendar, we automatically proclaim that everything is new again. New you, new goals, new attitude. I am glad I started my "news" before the calendar needs its flipping. My goals aren't resolutions so much as lifestyle changers. Here is what I hope to accomplish.

1. Continue my weight loss journey. I was 172 when my Elsa weight came off which was about where I was when I got pregnant. That was last spring some time. In mid-September (when I started keeping track) I was 168.5. Today I am 157. I have not gone down a size, which pisses me off. However I've noticed my thighs are pretty muscular and maybe after the fat there is reduced, I can shimmy into my old pants. I think I'll always have thick thighs but that's ok.

2. Get rid of gluten in my diet. This one is a biggie. Originally, I scoffed the idea of wheat and gluten being a big inflammatory in our diets. I thought it was a bunch of hippie bullshit. Now I am not so sure. Everything I'm reading makes sense. I'm one of those "don't believe it until I research it myself" kind of people. So that's what I am doing and I've read enough to sway me to change. The hubs is on board and Elsa doesn't give a shit, so what the hell. It's going to be HARD but it is worth a try. It would be like a gift from God to feel better.

3. Reduce or eliminate medications. It would be nice to not have the side effects like drowsiness, crabbiness, craziness, weight gain, fatigue, dizziness to deal with daily.

4. Home improvement. This one is a year-long goal. There are a few small projects that we (i.e., my husband) can do to improve the appearance of this house. A few more areas need paint and some new stick-on linoleum would be nice in certain places. Nothing fancy, but I think a few changes here and there will help sell this place in a few years.

With the changes already made in our lives, most of these things don't seem so daunting. I am close to my goal weight and reducing medications seems plausible. The gluten thing feels like a hefty challenge but that will be easier once I learn new recipes and throw all my flour out. (sad, sad face) The home projects will be nice but expensive. That's why I am spreading this thing out over a year and more. I also have other silly resolutions like wearing sun block when I walk the dogs in the summer. (say goodbye to that farmer tan) So what are your resolutions and life changers? I hope you have some good ones, ones that are realistic and important to you. Good luck to everyone on the new calendar. Look at it this way, we've escaped how many apocalypses so far? We've GOT this!

Week 5, Day 137!@$21!!

Well Week 5 got blown to bits with all the rushing around for doctor appointments, a fussy child with two molars still breaking through her swollen gums and Christmas shopping and celebrating. I also had a batch of cookies to contend with (aka: eat.) I struggled through as best I could and begged for Week 6, but by that time, the book came out. So now that I have the book and full chapters, including recipes, I have two options: 1)I can continue on by starting over Week 5 and giving it my best; or 2)I can start over completely with Week 1. I am leaning towards starting over on Week 1.

I've lost 10 lbs but my momentum is shot and re-starting one of the harder weeks is making the lazy, make-excuses part of me take over my whole being like a robot Stepford wife. I have about 10 more pounds to go and I think it will be easier now that all the holidays are over. Plus I'm taking a long hiatus from drinking any alcohol so no empty calories to worry about. I know I can do this because I did it for 4 whole weeks. And even though I foolishly bought a bread machine half a week ago, I can do this! Even with all the carboliscious temptations in the house.

In addition, the appetite suppressant I was on came out with a new formula. I tried it out today and it felt pretty good. I am hoping it will push me on to lose the last 10 lbs. My hubs likes it a lot too so he signed up to sell it but we aren't hosting parties and forcing weight loss supplements down our friends' throats. However he is giving out samples to some friends and family who want to try it. Maybe word of mouth will lead us to a few more dollars to help chip away at our debt. If not, we aren't losing anything thankfully.

I really believe it takes a combination of things unique to each person to lose weight and feel better. I think I have a good mix of those things now. All I need is the willpower and perseverance to see it through. So I have my book, my supplements and my accountability buddy/husband to push on through to the end. But I guess it never WILL end, will it? The older you get, the harder it is, to lose weight. But my goals for 2013 are not just to lose weight, but to become stronger and healthier on the inside. I hope I can get rid of some medications in this next year. That would be one of the best side effects of all this hard work.

In closing, I would definitely recommend the Shred Revolution diet. I may not have dropped 2 sizes, or even 1 size, but I lost some inches and I dropped some weight. We'll see what the next 6 weeks bring! Off to sleep. G'night.

Week 5, Days 1-3. And, I'm Too Old For This Shit

Yesssssssssss I got Week 5 and wowsers, there are a lot more rules to follow. I'm trying really hard to abide but still feel like I am straggling behind. I swear, every time I turn around, I'm fetching something for the baby, making her food, cleaning her up, entertaining her, pleading with her to nap, etc. And when she does finally nap, I collapse on the recliner and sit there like a lump, oblivious to my needs, the time, or whatever. I can't tell you how many times I find myself in the bathroom, trying to concentrate on peeing while I listen to Elsa cry because I suddenly had to leave her alone for 5 minutes. Uffda.

Needless to say, I am doing the best I can but not doing it perfectly. This week is more of the detox plan and there is no wiggle room. I am struggling to do the required workouts because I am so tired out from the full time mom gig. There have been a few times lately that I hop on my elliptical, give it a few turns and flop back onto the couch. Yesterday I actually quit trying, lay down on the couch and slept for a half an hour, crunched up on the little couch with a giant comforter smashed around my head for cushion. I'm just so unbelievably tired. I feel like I could sleep for a week if I had no one at home to care for and a catheter bag.

But my spouse is home from his travels and done hosting work dinners for a bit so I have some "me" time. I wasted it tonight imbibing a little and then trying to make some traditional German Christmas cookies that my mom used to make. They are called Pfeffernuesse cookies and they are a bit of an acquired taste. This recipe uses cloves, cinnamon, anise, nutmeg, dark coffee, sugar, honey, baking soda and flour. You then roll them into a ball and bake. Once cooled slightly, they are then rolled in confectioner's sugar. If you bake them too long, they are as hard as bricks. But baked just right, they are so good. However, after having a bit of Southern Comfort Pepper liquor and then taste-testing this spicy batter, I started having horrible back and stomach pains. Pretty soon I found myself on the floor, rolling around like I was dying. Oh heartburn, I love you so! I NEVER had heartburn until I was pregnant. (And no, I'm not pregnant.) The last time I threw up was when I was pregnant and before that was right after my mastectomy. I never puke. But this time, with the heartburn so painful, I finally made myself do it. And it was the fun kind, where you piss yourself a little from the terrible convulsions. TMI? Oh, maybe just a little. Thankfully I am married to the most amazing and wonderful person in the world. He first tried to give me milk and Zantac to help my pain. After sitting and sobbing on the floor, our dog Tobin casually walked over to my glass of milk and started slurping the contents, so Ron ran out and bought me Tums and Pepto. While he was gone I did the dreaded vomitus inductus. Granted, I was an anorexic in high school but I never stepped up to the bulimia tier of my eating disorder. (I enjoy eating too much which is why I thankfully failed at continuing the eating disorder, although I still manifest traits of it once in a while.) I absolutely hate throwing up, so for me to do that tonight just emphasizes the distress I felt. But the magical Pepto did the trick and, after a short bath, I am somewhat back to normal. The cookies, however, have not been made. I will get to them tomorrow. Just the thought of tasting the batter and smelling them right now makes me feel ill, I don't know why. Maybe they just heighten the yuck that is Southern Comfort.

Either way, I'm too old for this shit .

The good news is that I'm down 10 pounds since I started this plan. Shhhh....I weighed myself early. I look and feel a lot better, sans this evenings antics. My carb cravings are greatly reduced. I still notice them when I'm hungry and walking through the bakery aisle of the grocery store. (Oh those super thick and soft sugar cookies loaded with frosting and sprinkles? I could eat a whole thing of them. I don't care how sick it would make me. God, I love frosted sugar cookies.) But if I don't have the temptations constantly around me, I don't crave it as much. Hopefully that means some bad habits are finally broken.

Well it's way past my bedtime. I hope you all are doing better and acting smarter than I am. No more booze and baking experiments for this gal. Mein Gott, I can take a lot of pain but I cannot take the awful pain of a full blown attack of heartburn. Wowsa! Have a good night everyone. Tschus.

Back to the beginning

For whatever reason, I still haven't received Week 5 of the Shred Revolution diet. I've decided to start over with Week 1 and keep going until I receive the book, once it's published and shipped to my door. Hey, it's worked so far and why mess with success? It's been about six years since I've been in the 150's so I am definitely happy with how things are progressing.

The hubs and I woke up last night to hear the baby gate open and close. Turns out Tobin was running around the house, trying to find his way outside because he had the trots. We got up to let him out and found he wasn't able to hold it! We cleaned it up as best we could and I went back to sleep. But my husband couldn't sleep and was up every hour, letting the dog out and cleaning up after him in the basement, where he was confined. UGH! So he didn't get any sleep and I feel terrible for him. Now I'm keeping a close eye on Tobin, hoping he doesn't sneak off somewhere. Maybe we should just invest in a big ass carpet cleaner. *sigh* It's always something, right? Car repairs, doggie diarrhea (cha cha cha) and a baby cutting molars. Wheeee!

In other news, my husband got my mom's old German clock working again. It's over 100 years old and has a very loud gong that I just love. We don't have it keeping time accurately yet. You have to wind all these different things a certain way and it's so tricky to get it right. I'm glad it's working!

My sweetie is awake again so I'm off to make breakfast for both of us. Fruit and oatmeal for me this morning and she's having a nice bottle of formula and prune juice. Mmmmmm good stuff. Have a great day!

Week 4, Days 4-7 + 1

I have been terrible about keeping this up and I'm so mad at myself! But I do have a good excuse! ELSA. Haha, that kid is pretty demanding. And she's cutting two molars which SUCKS. She's pretty cranky and since she learned to throw baby tantrums (arching her back and screaming when you try to pick her up)I haven't had much time to shower, let alone blog. Blogging takes thinking and at least attempts at sentence structure and grammar. My brain cells last week were few. But at least this week the hubby isn't traveling so Week 5 will be better, blog-wise.

So anyways, about Week 4! Week 4 asks for a lot more cardio and you do see more carbs here and there to help with that. Although according to my very grumpy husband, there weren't enough carbs. Since he has a pretty packed workday, every day, he hasn't been able to eat all his snacks and wasn't eating enough. I did pretty well sticking to the plan all week, except for the days when my body hurt too much to do the workouts.

In the last four weeks I have lost 8.5 pounds! WOW! It would have been more had I not pigged out the week of Thanksgiving and gained back a pound. But who cares, this is still amazing. I've never been on a plan that: 1)I didn't quit after it got hard, and, 2)actually worked despite being on Prednisone. Normally the Prednisone cravings are so intense for carbs that I end up caving in and pigging out. Also it really does help to get all the bad stuff out of the house. I did make a small pan of brownies during Aunt Flo's regular visit and we ate them with glee and guilt. But we didn't gain any weight! And since it was a small amount, they were gone and out of the house quickly. Last night we ate raw veggies with humus with our meal and it tasted so damn good. I think when you stop eating all the crap, you start to really taste things again. You savor your food more.

So why +1 in the title? Well I think Dr. Smith is jammed with emails and I haven't received Week 5 yet, but I hope to get it today. So I'm just doing over the Week 4 meals until I receive this week's plan. I will report on my experiences as soon as I can.

Well the little BOSS is awake so I better get a bottle ready and go get her. Have a great day!

Week 4, Day 2 and 3

On Day 2 I felt like Superwoman. I was doing this and I was doing that, and then I did some more. I felt like I didn't have any illnesses and I was a normal, healthy person again! Until late afternoon. The aches and pains hit me pretty hard and I walked around like the living dead, doped on pain killers and muscle relaxers, cooking dinner for Elsa and playing with her. Luckily I got to talk to my mother in law for an hour which helped to wake me up. We always commiserate together and she's a great source of support for me. What a wonderful woman!

The menu on Day 2 felt less filling to me than Day 1. I think the diet switches things up so much so your body doesn't get used to getting the same kinds of foods every day. And let me tell you, you are not eating exotic foods. I'm talking oatmeal, fruit, vegetables, lean protein. You can drink protein shakes and I buy the generic ones from Target, Special K or the ones from Unikey Health, which are my favorite.

So if you are reading this and wondering if you can do this program, the answer is YES. You can preorder the book and it's under $20. Seriously, get on it!

I hate feeling like this but it could be worse. I just got to make sure I rest today and hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. I'm just going to go ahead and include today, Day 3, since I know I will just be following the diet, trying to drink lots of water and sitting my ass on the chair. Here's to hoping Day 4 is more exciting! Tschus!

Week 4, Day 1

Down 1.5 more pounds! So that's 7 lbs total. Wowsers! I feel so excited and proud of myself. I can actually say I've worked hard for this and I hope I can keep it going!

So Week 4 is a lot more cardio and you have to mix up your cardio in three 15 minute sessions. So 15 minutes of elliptical, 15 minutes of jogging, 15 minutes of jump rope, etc. Anything that's high intensity cardio. I can't jog and jump rope isn't really in the cards either so I'll need to get creative. With the increase in cardio you get to eat more carbs. Yippee! I love carbs. And they love me, so very, very much.

I am starting to wear out so I am calling it a night. I need to sleep while Elsa is asleep. She's been so cute, I almost can't stand it. At the store today, she was so excited at all the holiday displays. I wanted to buy every damn inflatable yard decoration they had but I resisted. Plus, those things are damned expensive! Looks like some people don't have my steely willpower...

Time for some zzzzz's. Have a good night everyone!

Week 3, Day 6-7

Day 6 went well. It was a "rest" day so I took the pups for walks and since that lasted a good 45 minutes, I think I did well "resting." The diet was ok until the late night munchies hit and we dove into a can of leftover mixed nuts. I guess there are worse things we could have pigged out on.

We did fantasize a little about pizza and chocolate chip cookies, two of our favorite things in the whole, entire world. I just have to keep my eye on the prize!! The plan states that the less weight you have to lose, the closer to the plan you have to stick. So these last 15 lbs are going to be TOUGH. And how the hell do you get your stomach muscles back into place after pregnancy? When I quit trying to hold in my gut, it expands by a LOT. Crunches and sit ups? It looks like I've been inflated with an air pump, jeebus.

Although Sunday isn't over yet, I will go ahead and give a rundown of Day 7. I was 10 minutes shy on my cardio because I felt so light-headed and run down today. I feel like I need a three hour nap but it's not going to happen. The hubs goes out of town tomorrow until Thursday night so things are going to be a bit crazy and exhausting for a few days. I hope it goes fast. Weigh-in is tomorrow and if I lose 2 lbs I'll be happy! Wish me luck.

Week 3, Days 4-5

Damn, where does the time go? I'm behind again but that's ok. Not much to report other than I did well on the last two days. Day 5 was especially good because I got all my meals and snacks in ON TIME and I ate what I was supposed to eat. Hooray for me! I also added in sit-ups to Day 5 because I am not sure cardio will eliminate my baby belly without some added toning exercises.

So notice this post is around 4AM? Yep, insomnia. This time I was awoken by three lovely things: a full bladder from trying to incorporate more water into my diet, a sinus headache from the dry air, and terrible aches and pains in my body, especially my back.

Here is the difference between a Fibromyalgia person and a regular one. A regular person will work out, feel tired, but great, and sleep pretty well in the night. He/she may rise in the morning feeling very stiff and maybe even sore, but nothing more than a reminder of the previous day's awesome workout. A Fibromyalgia person will work out, probably do some stretches in the hope for less pain later, will go to bed exhausted and toss and turn most of the night. He/she may even get up in the night to walk around, stretch, and/or take some pain reliever. I'm currently in front of the fireplace, covered up and waiting for my ibuprofen and muscle relaxer to kick in. I actually went to bed rejecting taking my pain killer and muscle relaxer because I felt pretty good and didn't want to be all doped up. I probably should have taken it, in hindsight.

This just reminds me why it's so hard to lead a "normal" life with these conditions. At least it's tough for me to get through it. I've always said I can do anything with a good night's sleep. And it's true. I feel so much better if I have slept well through the night. Last night it was a crying baby that woke me up and then I couldn't go back to sleep. This time it's my body being a big baby that is keeping me up. But at least I found time to get this blog post in! I'm finally feeling a little groggy and debating going back to bed or sacking out on the couch so I don't wake up my spouse. *sigh* Maybe he'll let me sleep in by taking care of the baby.

On to Day 6, my friends. Almost to the half-way point of this 6 week journey! Tschus.

Week 3, Day 3

Yesterday was Day 3 and I did ok. Once again I unintentionally skipped a meal because of some health stuff. Ever take pain killers? If you have, you would know that it backs you up pretty bad. I felt like there was a cement block in my intestines. I didn't even have the urge to go and my abdomen hurt so much! I went to the pharmacy and picked up the dreaded bottle of magnesium citrate. Look it up. You get to drink it the day before a colonoscopy. Mmmm comes in grape flavor now!

Drinking that stuff makes me so nauseous, it sucked. So eating more food was out of the question. Things are better today so I'm trying my best to do this all the way! I did come to a realization last night that I need to do what my body is needing. Notice I didn't say WANT. If my body needs a little bit of carbs or protein because my blood sugar is low, then I'll do it.

I forgot to mention that last week I gained back 1 pound. Not a huge setback, considering it was a holiday week. But disappointing regardless.

Sorry for the TMI but my digestive system was a huge factor in yesterday's diet. I did get in the cardio though before my delicious, grape-flavored laxative. *sigh* Time to go walk the baby and the dogs. Cardio, cardio, cardio! (And pooping!)

Week 2, Days 6-7 AND Week 3, Days 1-2

Ok the family has left the casa de Bex and I will be able to blog (hopefully) daily again. I swear, I haven't had much quiet time at home to sit down and do this. The last two days have been filled with trips to the airport and doctors, doctors, doctors. Today we get a reprieve and tomorrow, one more doctor appointment. Whew.

The last two days of week 2 were also a wash. I was eating leftovers and only exercised one of those days. I am so pissed at myself but it's done. So on to week 3!!

Week 3 is HARD. This is the detox/cleanse week and you don't get to eat many solids. Each morning starts with lemon juice in water. Then you have protein shakes, smoothies, soup, etc for the four meals. The exercise is ramped up too, to about 40-45 minutes minimum. Thankfully I have had such sporadic meals in the past so drinking my meals instead of eating isn't a big sacrifice for me. My appetite is more controllable now so I don't feel intense cravings to eat everything in sight. However, I have rid the house of unhealthy temptations. Yesterday I threw out some leftover cupcakes and cake because they were getting dry and let's face it, I'd eat it dry or not as long as it's chocolate. But I got rid of it and only kept a few thanksgiving leftovers for Elsa to eat.

Last night I got in some good cardio so I'm really happy about that. I hope I can get some stamina to do it again today! I am seeing changes in my hips and legs from the cardio and that is one helluva motivator to keep it up.

Today I will do this 100% and kick some ass. Wish me luck!

PS: Some pics my brother took this week and weekend.

Week 2, Days 3-5

Well we made it through Thanksgiving! This week has been very hard to keep to the plan. I am not one to ignore or throw away yummy Thanksgiving leftovers unless they are spoiled. So I've been eating small post-TDay meals. And for the first time EVER my pumpkin pie turned out perfect! It's my favorite pie and I've had a couple slices of that heavenly yumminess.

Thursday night my mother in law and I went to Toys R Us to do some shopping. We stood in line to check out for almost two hours. YIKES! Standing was tough for me (and her) but we made it and I even found some awesome collectibles for myself! (More on that in a post to come.) Yesterday I got some good cardio and maybe today I can get a walk in the evening. We are having Elsa's birthday party today so there will be cake and all kinds of temptations. Again, I'm not going to gorge myself but I am going to have a piece of birthday cake, dammit.

Overall it feels like the week is a wash. I'm debating starting over on Monday with Week 2 but wonder if I should just plow through into the third week. I could have tried harder to follow the diet plan but, as Lady of the House, with guests, I have been trying so hard to make everyone feel welcome, make sure everyone has what they want to eat and drink, take care of the baby, and try to keep my health in check. I've definitely been overdoing it and not sleeping enough. Next week I have several doctor appointments so it's going to be tough to get any rest. Oh well, onward and upward! We'll see what I can do with these last two days of Week 2!

Week 2, Day 2

Once again real life has sprung up and thrown a wrench in the day! I didn't do the elliptical at all but instead I cleaned the house at least 4 hours. So that better substitute for the 45 minutes of cardio. Meals were ok but the very last one I splurged on a couple IPA's with supper, which had a bit more carbs than allowed. But I think I'll live. :)

Not much else to report! Some family is in town now and I will be busy busy until the house empties again next week. Trying to keep my strength and willpower!

Week 2, Day 1

I'm up early today, getting in my post for last night. My weigh-in for Week 1 was freakin' FANTASTIC! I lost 6.5 pounds! I kept stepping back on the scale because I couldn't believe it. Whoopee!

On to Week 2! Day 1 of week 2 was definitely more intense. In some meals there were foods added and some meals were smaller. Also the cardio requirements were increased. I did my best to get to that number but Elsa woke up from her nap and I had to go get her. It was really rough for me doing cardio too. It took a long time for me to be able to get the strength and energy just to pick up the baby. That part really sucked. I had to lay down for a few minutes to clear my head and try to regain some stamina. Plus I had this weird, awful pain to deal with. Other than that, I did pretty well.

I stopped by the grocery store yesterday and I swear, I must have circled through the bakery section at least a half a dozen times. I could feel myself drool over the sights of muffins, cookies, lemon bread, cupcakes, etc. After a third run around the chocolate chip muffins (one of my favorites) I checked the nutrition label and one muffin was 420 calories. Wow. I had no idea, or at least, I didn't want to know the yummy, awful truth. It took some willpower and whining from the baby to finally move on. That 6.5 lb loss kept ringing in my ears and I knew I'd need to save the treats for Thanksgiving and Elsa's birthday cake.

Time to get my head cleared and knock out the rest of the housework before my brother flies in. This week will be a tough trial to stay true to the Shred. I hope I'm up for it!

Week 1, Day 7

Another hectic day. We spent half the day furiously cleaning the house to prepare for our Thanksgiving guests. Then we attended a very fun birthday party for the kids of some friends of ours. Elsa partied like crazy! She danced and danced! Well, she did the little baby-bounce thing that they do when babies hear music. It was so cute and so fun to watch her play with the other baby. Love it!

There was also some very yummy food at this shindig. I will admit it, we lost our willpower and ate some forbidden yums. But we really didn't stuff ourselves, which I was shocked and proud to see. I ate some amazing guacamole, carrot cake and wine. It was so great to eat some of the food but not to go overboard. Have I been abducted by aliens? A healthy, cardio-busting cult?

To be honest, I've felt AMAZING this past week and the looser pants are great motivators to keep going. I am still very excited to be doing this. One challenge is that it does take time to really think and plan out what we're going to eat each day. Normally I only think about what I need to cook for supper. Breakfast in the past was a smoothie and lunch was either another smoothie or last night's leftovers. Now I have four meals to shop and plan for.

Tomorrow is the weekly weigh-in. I have no idea where I will be but I'm excited and nervous to see where I am. I did eat a lot of salty chips today so it's possible I am retaining water. Doh! I will report tomorrow!! G'night everyone!

Week 1, Day 6

Again, I was unable to blog last night. That thing called LIFE keeps getting in the way! Here's a run-down of Day 6.

I've noticed that the menu slowly adds in more carbs. Thank God! I personally find it hard to sustain exercise without a carb and protein recovery. My fave is peanut butter and banana on whole wheat toast. It tastes like heaven! It probably exceeds the calories permitted for snacks but I have learned if I'm light headed and shaking, I better give my body what it needs.

I really feel a difference in how my clothes fit. I've been avoiding a style of underpants sitting in my drawer because my hips and rear end are so big, the elastic really hurts my skin. Because we've been too lazy and distracted to do laundry lately, my supply of granny pannies has dwindled. I was forced into the "pinchy" ones, only, they fit now! I know most people would be posting about getting into their skinny jeans but dammit, I'm excited my damned underwear fit again.

We did a much better job at eating on time yesterday with me hollering SNAAAACK TIME!!! down the stairs while Ron was gaming. I'd hear a WHOOPEEE! in response. Again, my damn jaw only allowed me to eat about half of the veggies I wanted but such is life. The menu plan also states that you don't have to eat everything, just that you eat something every 3-4 hours. Ok, simple enough! At least, it's simpler on the weekend with two of us in the house to remind each other. So we both still need to work on getting our food consumed at the right times during the week.

Day 7 starts now so I'm off to experience this brand, new day. I hope to get Day 7's blog done on time tonight! Have a good one! Tschus.

Week 1, Day 5

Forgive me, in advance, if my post is a bit odd. My jaw pain is managed, somewhat, but I'm on some medications that make me a little loopy. And maybe sappy.

Holy smokers, it's still hard to hit all the meals and snacks on time with this diet! One would think it's easy to snarf down food all day but I find it a challenge to nail the snarfing at certain specified times. I am pleasantly surprised to realize that I do not sit on my ass all day, as a stay at home mom, but rather, I am up running around all gawddamn day. I used to feel so bad because I cannot work and I stay home with the baby. That baby and all the responsibilities of household activities are enough to keep me working all day. I haven't nailed down personal time for myself yet. My clock has been set to "baby time" for about a year now. But, I will work harder in the next few days to do better at it.

My husband has been so awesome this week! He's helped with the meals, he's changed his eating times/habits and he's been up before 5AM everyday working out. All of this just to support me. Whatta guy! Having a support system at home has made a huge difference. I don't think I could do this on my own. This first week has taken willpower and resolve. I am also swept up in the enthusiasm of the other people who are taking part in this challenge. If I do well, I could be on the local news, helping to spread the word!

So yes, I am a little excited about being a Shredder. If you want in on the hub-bub, lemme know. Or you can check things out on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ShredderNation and on Twitter @doctoriansmith. If you want to try the diet, you can email Dr. Smith and he will give you details on what to do in order to join.

So far, my pants feel looser. Weigh-in is on Monday. I feel confident that I will show a loss on the scale!

Week 1, Day 4

I was unable to post last night so I'm going to catch up right now.

Oh what a 4th day! I had a horrible day, but this wasn't due to the diet. My TMJ/transgeminal nerve, or whatever is going wrong in my jaw, was a lot worse yesterday. With every mastication came pain and the feeling that my jaw would slip out of place. I called my jaw pain doctor who proclaimed he really doesn't know what else to do for me. Isn't that a great feeling? Anyways, I was unable to follow the diet because of the limited function of my chompers.

I did try to eat at least something at each designated time and although I could not eat what I was supposed to eat, I did take in some calories. Here's to hoping today is better than yesterday! Onward and upward!

Week 1, Day 3

And so ends day 3 of my first week. Not a whole lot to report today. I find myself getting caught up in the day and forgetting to eat my snacks or mini-meals. I need to work harder at that otherwise this plan won't work. It's tough with the baby because I'm always thinking "what does the baby need now? Is it time for her to eat? Play? Bath?" And then there are the dogs, constantly entwining themselves between my legs, like overgrown cats. The minute the baby is placed into her highchair, I see three fur balls parked under her seat. And the baby has discovered how fun it is to feed the doggies her food! Maybe it would be helpful to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to eat. Who knew I would need some kind of external reminder to eat???

I finally caught the Super Cold Virus going around and the disc in my jaw joint is still slipping out of place. I went to the dentist today, hoping for a solution. Basically all I got was "get a night guard." I do hope they are right and all will be well when I get the Miraculous Night Guard. I won't have the ability to cough up $350 until January 1st, so until then, I'm on my own. I'm worried that this won't solve anything and I'll be shit outta luck. Since, you know, neither the medical insurance or the dental insurance covers this problem unless my doctors can prove it's the RA causing all the fuss. Anyways, I find that I can't chew much and I'm stuck to drinking smoothies for most of my meals.

Even with these constraints/challenges going on, I feel I'm doing well. I find there is a lot of flexibility among the rules because you have a lot of choices. You can pick what kind of fruit to have along with your breakfast, and you can choose oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, or cereal AND have juice. I don't know about you all, but that's more than I normally eat each morning. There are snacks scattered throughout the day and more mini-meals. You learn to eat fresh fruits and veggies along with lean proteins. It's great having structure with so many choices. Of course, no weight loss plan is complete without exercise! But workouts can be broken up so it's not too overwhelming. I wonder if housework counts.

It's too early to tell if I'm going to lose weight or not. However I am still excited about this plan and very motivated. It means so much to me that my husband is right alongside me, doing the diet, helping plan meals. He's my rock!!

PS: Right before I started this diet, the neighbor kid dropped off our order for Girl Scout cookies. We ordered them a few weeks ago and I had entirely forgotten about them. I can almost hear those damn cookies screaming to be eaten from the pantry closet. *sigh* Fucking cookies...so delicious. Do Girl Scouts earn Obesity Badges with each sold box?

Week 1, Day 2

Another day done! I can't believe I'm going to do this dieting/food behavior modification thing for 6 weeks. Forty two blog posts. Yikes.

I took my "before" photos finally today. I figured it's not too late to get those done just in case. Just in case I actually lose these 20 pounds for good. I have to say that many people tell me I don't need to lose weight. But I'm very skinny up top and too round on the bottom. For vanity reasons, health reasons (belly fat inches almost the same as my hips and my poor, poor knees), and because I really want to be able to wear all the size 10 jeans in my closet, I've taken up this weight loss challenge. So here I am. My before pictures.

I don't think anyone's "before" pictures are attractive, so I'll give myself a break. And my post-pregnancy belly is really bringing me down. But I'm hopeful I can look AND feel better soon!

I have to say that Dr. Ian is very good about communicating with all of us Shredders. He responds to Facebook posts and emails as much as he can. I think he's a really great person and his enthusiasm is contagious. I want this and I believe it's obtainable. I just need to stay focused! Doing the 45 minutes of cardio today was BRUTAL. I had to stop and re-start a lot. I am pretty fatigued now and took it easy for the rest of the day. Also my jaw problems are worse and I had to alter the prescribed diet to just liquid foods. I just can't chew much more than bread. Hopefully the dentist tomorrow will give me some ideas on how to feel better.

My baby girl and I played a bit this afternoon. She's amazing and what better motivation than her? Have a good evening and wish me luck on the next forty days! Tschus.

Shredding: Week 1, Day 1

We've made it through Day 1 on the Shred diet. I weighed myself to get my starting weight and I also managed to eat well and work out. The menu lists a lot of food to eat in one day. There are four mini-meals and three snacks. It sounds like a ton of food but it's not a lot of food at once. And if you can't eat it all, it's ok to stop. So instead of having big meals, like we are used to, we eat smaller meals with a few snacks scattered in between. It's not easy to retrain the stomach and brain to eat this way, but we sure as hell tried our best.

Since non-creamy soups are acceptable to the plan, and we had the produce sitting around, I made butternut squash soup today. I did not add any dairy products, other than a couple tablespoons of butter to cook the onions, celery and carrots. Blending the squash was interesting. I managed to have very hot squash bits fly around the kitchen and land on my hand. OUCH! Elsa just looked at me like I was an idiot. But it's done and ready for tomorrow!

I also bought a bunch of fresh fruit and veggies. We have grapefruit, oranges, apples, pears, frozen fruit, Brussels sprouts, zucchini, cucumber, carrots, onions, yams, etc. Holy crap, I feel my junk food genes about to explode from all this healthy stuff! But it's good to be on a real plan with frequent meals. I feel tired out today but I feel good overall, except for my jaw. It's still pretty messed up and it's hard to chew certain textures of food. Maybe a liquid diet is in order, haha. Fun times! On to the next day, g'night!

Prelude to a diet

It's that time of year again. It's the holiday baking, cooking and gorging season. I LOVE this time of year. I love baking up yummy, carb-laden cookies, cakes and breads. I also love cooking Thanksgiving dishes like roasted turkey, homemade cranberry sauce, and sweet potato casserole. And Christmas time? What's Christmas without cut-out cookies, fudge, snack mix and hot cider? See where I'm going with this? I love to eat just as much as I love to cook. This is not helping out the weight loss efforts!

I've been taking a supplement called Visi which really took the edge off of the insane appetite I have. I still take prednisone and recently added a couple more medications which have hunger and weight gain as a side effect. So it was working great up until the last couple of weeks when my appetite went off the charts again. I lost ten lbs and then gained it right back.

I also got my ass back on to the elliptical machine and that was great until my joints started to grind together in my knees and ankles. It doesn't really hurt but I can feel and hear the grinding and popping. I will definitely talk to my doctor next checkup but I'm not letting that stop me from trying to stay as fit as possible.

With all this going on, I happened to catch Dr. Ian Smith on our local Fox 4 morning show. If you have ever watched Celebrity Fit Club, then you will recognize Dr. Smith as one of the judges and consultants for the show. He is promoting an upcoming book and weight loss plan called Shred, The Revolutionary Diet. He asked people who were interested in his plan to tweet him @doctoriansmith to get a sample of his book. I did that and emailed him and next thing I know, I was accepted to be part of his nutrition and weight loss plan, representing the Kansas City group. So I start tomorrow on a whole new way of eating and thinking about nutrition. I've decided a good way to keep me honest and on track is to blog my journey through this 6 week plan. I think I'm crazy because this is the best time of the year, food-wise. It will not be easy to hold the hungry monster at bay over Thanksgiving! But I like challenges and am actually looking forward to giving this my all. If I do really well, who knows. I may be on the local news as a "success" story.

If anyone has links to low-carb recipes featuring Thanksgiving fare, please let me know! Thanks and I will let you know how Day 1 goes!! Tschus. :)

Better than ever

I can't tell you how hard it's been the last few months to sit down and try to write a blog post. It's no secret how over-sensitive I am. I've come to learn that I have a higher than average level of empathy. I absorb the feelings of people around me and I also take criticism very hard. I am learning to let things roll off my back though, but it still takes me about two weeks to finally get to that point!

So what the hell have I been up to? I've been trying to understand and deal with my diagnosis of major recurring depression and anxiety. I think anyone who knows me is not surprised at this at all. I knew I had depression, not so much the anxiety though, but I didn't know how bad the depression was. I didn't want to deal with it. I wanted to die when I was in 5th grade because none of the kids would talk to me. I was some how "uncool" that year and teased and ignored by every single kid. It was horrible. I would go home where my father was gone every weekend with his girl friend. I was alone a LOT. I just wanted to die and be with my mother, that's all I wanted. High school was full of ups and downs. I remember being asked to Homecoming by this cute guy who was kind of a bad boy. I didn't know you were supposed to get a really nice dress for Homecoming so I wore a sweater and a skirt. We got to the dance and he didn't want to dance. We just stood there awkwardly. Then he wanted to leave and find a party to get drunk. I didn't drink so I didn't want to go. So he left me there and drove Main all night. I think my dad had to come get me. I cried all night, sneaked some of my dad's amaretto and took a bunch of cold pills. I also cut myself some times on my hands. So yeah, why I am surprised at having major depression is so dumb when I think about it. You tend to get tunnel vision when the "normal" for you is so dysfunctional. You can't see or understand anything else. My baby has been the catalyst to finally fucking DEAL with it. I have been in and out of therapy and on and off meds since high school. The stigma of being called "crazy" prevented me from sticking with it. And of course, the intense pain that therapy brings up is what made me call it quits so many times. I talked to my sister a bit recently about it all. She told me I shouldn't be ashamed, blah blah. Rationally I know that. But my family NEVER talked about anything after my mom died. We just quit smiling, quit talking, quit spending time together. I can't convey to anyone just how very lonely it was for me as a 7 year old to grow up without a lot of warmth, happiness or togetherness. My sister said something that made me feel like she really understood now. She said, "you saw a lot of fucked up things when you were little."

I'm sure there are people who think at 35 I shouldn't be having these revelations. Things were so buried but they are finally coming out. It's not easy telling my sister that I tried to kill myself when I was 20. I don't want her to feel upset at learning this stuff. But at the same time, maybe someone in my family should know.

The trials and errors of finding the right combination of medications to deal with my mental health as well as the other conditions have been quite the roller coaster. Friends whom I know in person, and those internet ones I've talked to for years, understand. They've been there for me and now that I feel a lot better mentally, I'm able to really be there for them now. The people online who have been cruel, who haven't been able to forgive me for acting so crazy or just plain weird, can go fuck themselves. I don't care how that sounds because it feels so damn good to say it. I've always tried to be so PC, to always think of the feelings of others, to not create waves, but there is a point where I just don't give a shit anymore. I think some people enjoy holding something over you even after you apologize because it gives them power and control. I think that's sick. It feels good to stand up for myself finally.

All this...shit has been quite a long and exhausting process. And I'm still going through it, but am able to deal with the painful and intense emotions better. If you've read this far and still love me, thank you. I appreciate your friendship and look forward to giving back the love and patience you've shown me.

Tschus.

Growing pains

Who knew you could have growing pains in your 30's? I have learned so much lately about myself and others. It hasn't been easy but I feel I'm a better person for it.

I recently had another health evaluation which led to some new diagnoses. Without getting into it, I can just say that at first, I was upset. But I found peace within. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and it's up to us, as individuals, to decipher what that is. At times I am defensive, and also, a huge pain in the ass. But my heart is always in the right place. I always want to do right, to ensure the happiness of my family and friends, and to be true to myself. No matter what happens each day, I pray to try to understand my purpose and actions when something negative happens. At the end of the day, I have to answer to myself and the big JC.

So here I am, a day older and a little wiser. The hardest thing to do, sometimes, is to forgive those who don't ask for forgiveness. And even harder yet, to forgive ourselves. Forgiving others is not for the sake of anyone but yourself. That isn't a bad thing at all, despite how it sounds. I think we need to admit our misunderstandings or mistakes and those of others so that we can move forward, for our own well-being. After that, you can let things go. My mistake is always trying to get others to see my side of things, hoping they will understand my intentions and my heart. When that doesn't happen, I keep pressing the subject, hoping for them to suddenly understand. That is my mistake. I need to stop after the first try and move on. If something is meant to be, it will be.

Here are the things that give me joy. These things are worth fighting for.

I put a print of this in EK's room. It is part of the "Voyage of Life" series painted by Thomas Cole. This one is "Youth." I know, the Romanticism period is a bit much, but I kind of dig some of the works that emerged from it. This series is in the National Gallery of Art.

I apologize to my atheist and agnostic friends who may find their way to this post. However this is part of me. It doesn't take away from my horrible sailor mouth and I certainly do not think I'm holier than thou. I do believe in a higher purpose and to trust in the higher being to lead me through the storms. Well, I've been working on this post over three hours, so it's time for this addled brain to bring things to a close. Have a wonderful, great fucking Saturday night. Tschus.

PS. If anyone has been deleted from my Facebook page, I apologize. I am trying to cut ties to an online group that once was my support network, but now fills me with a lot of pain. Please message me if you feel you've been deleted in error. I am sorry in advance if you get upset by this.

Grow baby, grow!

My plants have done really well, despite the heat. I'm so glad! My flowers are beautiful and the herbs are awesome. I love being able to walk to the garden and clip off what I need to spice up dinner. I will definitely hang some more herbs to dry soon and make some pesto to freeze. I just got a few photos today to show you my progress. I didn't photograph some of my herbs today because the heat has wilted all the leaves. After a nice soak tonight they will be plump again. So in the meantime, I can show you some of the other plants.

You can see my lavender is huge, my coneflower has finally bloomed and my sage plant is doing well. Even my dianthus came back! I love the mums too, even though you normally see them in the fall. Sorry the photos are so small. I will also post them on Flickr later today.

My lovely grape tomatoes need to be picked every day. I better get munching on some salads!

And here is our compost heap. The cage was sold by the county to help residents go green after the county forbade grass and plant clippings in the weekly trash. We already had a heap but it wasn't contained and it was too close to the house. So here it is! I want to put some flower bulbs around it or something so it's not such an eyesore.

I also dried out some lavender and made some bath salts with the dried buds. I used Epsom salts, baking soda, dried lavender buds and lavender essential oil. I mixed them together and read that you should continue shaking the jar for a good week to get the oil to evenly mix with everything. And a little oil goes a long way, in my opinion. I like a hint of lavender and this smells nice. And the jar looks pretty too.

So that's all I have to show for now. I have a cross-stitch finished that I need to mount and frame. And I'm working on a new gamer pattern. I'm also trying to make EK a little dreamcatcher which has been an effort of trial by error. I'll be sure to link those posts from my crafty blog to this one, once they are finished and online. Stay cool friends! Tschus.

Finding that "happy place"

I can't believe we're half way through June. Every day is another adventure! My wee one is crawling, saying Momma and Da Da, got her first tooth and can pull herself into a standing position, if very motivated. Time goes so quickly.

The organic experiment in the house is going well. I find myself trying new recipes to use up the produce before it spoils. Today I had regular blueberries and organic strawberries to use up so I tried this recipe for Blueberry and Strawberry Buttermilk Cake. I wish I had read through the comments because I made one mistake. I should have cut up the fruit into smaller pieces. Too much fruit, or too large of pieces, make it harder for the cake portion to bake through properly and evenly. Therefore mine is a little overdone because the toothpick kept coming up with batter. Despite being overcooked, it really is a light-tasting cake and the flavor of the berries is just right. I would have taken a picture but mine sure doesn't look like the one on the website! Now I still need to use up some small potatoes, carrots and radishes. That should be easy.

I will not lie. The last few weeks has not been my best. I think I let the stress of going from doctor to doctor to doctor, never getting any time out for myself and have some fun, really get to me. I remember a time when, although stressed, I wasn't out to try and be someone I am not. I think in the last twelve months I've been trying to be what I think others expect of me. I quit stitching things that make me happy and was trying to figure out what super artsy thing I should be doing. I stopped listening to my voice and listened to all the others telling me to behave this way, do this, react that way instead, etc. Once I stopped listening, once all the opinions and influences were shut out of my head, I realized that no matter which way I go, all roads end up at the same place.

I can't go on like this, going to four or five appointments every week. I'm letting all this take over my life and it sucks. So! Hopefully I'm at the maintenance level now and I can just go a couple times a month from now on. Even better if I can get off some medications too down the road. Almost two months of 3-5 appointments a week is shitty. Maybe it's time to revisit acupuncture.

Even though I probably burned some bridges, I am feeling more peaceful. I feel like I've finally accepted that these conditions aren't going away. Having these issues is not extraordinary; it's normal. This is my new normal and some days will be worse or better than others. But there is no need to dwell on something that is an every day thing now, right? And I don't need to convince anyone that I hurt, or I'm exhausted. If they don't believe me, that's their problem. I don't have to like my situation either, and it's only a small piece of the greater picture. I have more good things in my life than bad.

That brings me to the HAPPY PLACE. To get back to my happy place (not to be confused with a happy ending) I made a list of things I would like to stitch and I spent two, painstaking days working out all the details of the first pattern. My spouse and I have a new blog in the works and I'm re-watching all the Harry Potter movies. Right now I'm laying on the floor (because I feel like shit) with my beautiful, silly and smart baby girl while we (I) watch Harry Potter. Such simple things, and yet it took me so long to get back to the basics.

I have to go now. EK and I have more Harry Potter to watch. More like I am trying to watch the movie while she tries to eat my hat. Have a good day. Tschus.

What wouldn't you do?

I've been blogging on and off about the fur babies. Our black rescue dog, Horry, has terrible hip dysplasia. Horry is only 2 years old. I am not sure what his story was before we met, but I do know he feared men, hated other dogs, has a large knot of scar tissue on his head and in general, he had "checked out" around people.

However, Horry is now a happy boy! He plays with toys, he hangs out with our alpha dog, Tobin, like they've been friends forever. He doesn't intimidate our submissive boy, Patton, nearly as much. We've had our Horry for a little over a year now and even though he's still phobic about thunderstorms, fence fights with an unfixed Golden Retriever AND has bad hips, we love him. You can just tell he's grateful to be here. His tail wags, he lets me brush him, he waits patiently for his breakfast and dinner and he also gives us licks on our hands. I was hoping he was a candidate for stem cell therapy, but he's not. So we're trying the next best thing while we painstakingly save for his surgery and get our house finances in order. So yesterday was his first day of acupuncture.

I assisted the doctor at Aid Animal Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri. I held Horry on the table while the doctor and I talked. She gently kneaded his back muscles and when she found the right "spot", she inserted a very thin needle into his skin. He only flinched two or three times during the procedure. As anxious as he was, he did lay down a couple of times which, to me, was amazing. He normally could not relax at all around strangers. We aren't sure if anything is working yet but we are hopeful! To see testimonials about pet acupuncture, see this link.

I'm sorry I don't have better photos of this. I really had to keep both hands on Horry to make sure he didn't step off the table and fall.

We had the discussion a while ago when we found out about his hips. He's so young and he is a part of the family. If we stay disciplined, we can afford this surgery in a few years. We also recently found out that Patton needs knee surgery! He has a luxating patella on both back legs. Sheesh. He doesn't seem in terrible pain, but with dogs, they don't show pain until it's pretty awful. Since Patton means so much to people even outside of our home, we will try and have his procedure done as well. I know so many people would not go to this much trouble for a pet. But our dogs are more than pets, they are family. And if this helps Horry, I may just give acupuncture another try!

Monday Mourning

Ok so last week I didn't get through all my daily themes I had brilliantly planned in my head. I might as well admit that with a baby who just started crawling, three dogs who are running away from the baby, and my own limitations, the blog is not getting refreshed every day. However, I will do what I can, when I can.

I believe what goes around, comes around. When I was a kid, I HATED Elmo. His high pitched voice, the Elmo songs I endured in DC traffic when my nieces were very small, and the damn Tickle Me craze every Christmas. My best friend and I would punch Elmo in the face when we saw one at the drug store. He was an outlet for our teen angst. So guess what my MIL brought to the house this weekend? Yep, Elmo. An Elmo doll and little chair with his big face on it. And the baby LOVES IT. It doesn't even talk and she loves it! Is it the hypnotic eyes? I have no idea. But I think this is karma coming to get me for all the wrong I did Elmo all those years ago.

That's about it for my Monday post. As for Elmo, I'm sleeping with one eye open from now on.

Tune In Tuesday!

Ok, since I'm home a lot I must admit that I watch a lot of television. There's good and bad out there. But right now I'm loving Impractical Jokers, on truTV. I normally don't laugh out loud when watching a show, so you know it's funny if I'm near tears from laughter. Have you seen this show yet? What do you think? I like it because no one gets hurt and no one is humiliated in a bad way so I don't feel bad watching it. Definitely not like Jack Ass. Check them out!

Monday Mourning

Well, the title of the blog is not quite accurate because today is a holiday. So thank you to all the veterans out there and I paused today to remember those who never came home.

If you ever go to Kansas City, I recommend visiting the National World War I museum, located under the Liberty Memorial.  This memorial was erected after the community raised over $2.5 million in only ten days.  It commemorates the first World War but is often the site of remembrance for all wars.  The museum portion is one of the best museums I have visited to date. Check it out here.

For a few weeks I've been pondering over this blog. It started as a space to clean my brain of thoughts, to vent, and to find humor in difficult situations. As with everything in life, it is ever evolving. Maybe it's time this space had more organization and more of a purpose. I am the type of person who doesn't pick one thing and master it. I pick several things and do well in each, but never master any of them. I enjoy target shooting, baking/cooking, spending time with the baby, playing with my dogs, etc. Therefore I am going to have categories for each day, except Sunday. That's my day off. And if/when life gets too crazy and I can't blog, I will just skip those days. Since this IS the Blog of Arrrrghhhh, it wouldn't be the same if I cut out any and all rants! Monday is the day for that. Even housewives hate Mondays, save days like today, which are holidays.

I actually don't have much to vent today. The baby is teething and scooting/crawling everywhere so my free time is very limited now. The teething makes her cranky and the scooting ensures that anything and everything she finds is a potential hazard. I will bitch about the weather because it is like walking into a sauna out there. It doesn't matter the temperature because no matter what, if you spend even a few minutes outside, sweat starts to drip off your face. The lows at night are in the 70s too. Ick.

Health-wise, I'm ok. The docs kicked up my muscle relaxer and the side effects seem to be racing heart, concentration problems, and drowsiness. These are times when I need to evaluate the side effects versus the benefits. I am a bit concerned about my resting heart rate so I will bring that up at the next appointment. I'm having an MRI soon and that kind of blows. I hope it helps in the long run.

My view on life is just like all my stitching projects: it's a work in progress, all the time. I make mistakes, tear out the stitches and start over again. I just need to pause more often to straighten out the threads, tighten my stitches and check over my work. And to also appreciate more the work I've done so far.

This photo was posted with its story on my other blog but I will just throw one photo of it here. This says to me that life is fun and beautiful but sometimes there is shit. And that is ok.

Belated Mother's Day

Holy cow, how could I have forgotten to blog Mother's Day!? I haven't had a lot of free time these last few weeks. I hope all you mommies had a great day. And remember, I include moms of fur babies. I got a card from my husband, one from the dogs and one from Elsa. It was very cute the way everyone "signed" the cards.

We spent a couple hours at the arboretum which is a short drive from our home. It was wonderful to get lost under the thick canopy of branches. All sounds were dampened, save whatever bird calls we could hear. EK did amazing. The little wiggle worm lasted two hours in her stroller before she announced enough was enough. She outlasted even me! I am glad I had the foresight to bring my cane. This is the first time I have been photographed with it. I felt sort of like FDR. Some people gave me a second glance but I didn't feel ashamed. Instead I felt happy to be out in such beauty despite my annoying joints. I will quit boring everyone and just put some photos up for you to see. Have a wonderful Memorial weekend! Tschus.