Strike one! CoQ10 review

Ok, CoQ10? Not for me. It makes my heart race and amps me up way too much. I've had a low dose at 30 mg for a few days and I was in bed at 5:00 PM today. No matter how tired I get lately, it is never enough to send me back to bed. Not cool!

So no thanks, I'll stick to my multivitamin. So that's my report on the CoQ10 experiment.

Hey, I tried, right?

I tend to have a low blood-pressure and run on the hypoglycemic side of the blood sugar scale so maybe I'm more sensitive then some people. Maybe other people will have some luck in managing their fatigue levels but it felt like a flash grenade for me. My fuse was lit and was out before I could act on it.

However, while writing this, a friend is telling me about his new sister-in-law who is chronically ill. She is so sick, that she has been put into a coma and no one knows exactly what she has. It puts things into perspective. I see a lot of drama queens/kings and I try not to be one of them. I have my days (no one is perfect) but shit isn't THAT bad. It could always be much worse and I'll take my blessings where and when I can get them.

So, scratch the CoQ10 and on to the next experiment. I leave you with some fail blog photos.


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see more Failbook


see more Failbook

Things to increase your geek points

Here is what I've been up to in the last month in terms of entertainment. I'm not sure where I stand with geek/nerd/dork points, but I'm pretty sure I am "up there."

This book, edited by Stephen Jones, is about a zombie apocalypse that erupts in England during a fictional "New Festival of Britain." The plague, as usual, spreads beyond the great island and readers are taken from Britain to the US, Mexico and more. The plot unwinds through a collection of emails, diary entries, Tweets, blogs, documents and video transcripts. As with most zombie tales, there is a lot of underlying political commentary. For instance, the Festival of New Britain is seen by several characters as a way to distract the citizens from all the major social and economic issues at hand. Granted, this book was published before the Royal Wedding was announced but I do see some parallels.

Each major section was written by a different author so you get different writing styles. It makes the book more believable at times but also can mess up your reading rhythm. I agree with other readers that this is no World War Z but it is a fun read. I didn't think it was boring but just a different take on the same zombie story. Plus it was interesting to see how current social media outlets were woven in the book to propel the story along.

Also, I watched Intruder, aka The Night Crew on Netflix. This 1989 movie was directed by Scott Spiegel, who also co-wrote Evil Dead 2. The premise is a creepy guy is stalking a grocery clerk who is working overnight at the supermarket with the crew while they do inventory. There is big hair, high-waisted pants, bad music and people suffer gory, nasty deaths. Although Bruce Campbell is given top billing for the movie, he's only in the last few minutes. (False advertising!) What's kind of interesting and fun about this movie (other then how cheesy it is) is that Sam Raimi works in front of the camera as an actor. Ted Raimi is in it too and his character is dorky and lovable as always. If you are a B movie junkie, I recommend watching it at least once.



Finally, we just beat Dead Space 2 in easy mode. The protagonist, Issac Clarke, has a personality in this game, whereas the first game he did not have a voice; he was static. There are a lot more scenes of what Isaac sees in his visions, conversations he has with other characters, etc. I liked that there was more plot development. You get plopped into a huge space station and instead of the inhabitants being dead when the game starts, you get to witness the horror of the necromorphs taking over. The visuals are great, the pacing is better and the settings change enough to keep it interesting. I felt like the chapters went too quickly, but again, we played in easy mode.

I'm looking for more zombie books to check out from the library. I haven't read all Max Brooks' works yet and I'd like to check out Joe McKinney too. Suggestions are welcome!

So until next time...Tschus!

Observations on exercise, or: Why I feel so damn old

I've noticed a few things since resuming my exercise goals. When you have chronic health issues, you sometimes have different experiences when working out. (*I am not a doctor, even after staying at a Holiday Inn. These are my experiences.)

So far I've noticed that my muscles are firmer, more toned. I think it's safe to say that doing circuit training with the 3 lbs weights isn't enough and I need to move up to 5 lbs. (I'm Xena!) I am also able to push myself to walk farther. My moods are a lot better because of the natural serotonin boost and because I'm getting out of the house more. These are all the positives I've noticed.

The negative side effects for me so far: I have a hard time sleeping. Seems counter-intuitive, right? Most people workout during the day and feel relaxed and tired at night. Working out seems to exacerbate my insomnia. It doesn't matter if I work out in the morning or in the afternoon. Also, my muscles ache; not in the post-workout way, but in the fibromyalgia-flare way. I think this is a contributor to my insomnia. And crunches aggravate the scar tissue in my abdomen. Lastly, my weight goes up when I workout.

Weight today 166.5. This is down a bit from yesterday and it still could be cyclical.

One of my experiences with fibromyalgia is constant insomnia. As some of you know, fibro makes your nerves oversensitive and you feel pain at a higher intensity than normal people. Insomnia is a symptom of all the fucked up nerves. From what I can tell, working out has stimulated my nerves enough to fight off the Ambien each night. I'm hoping this is temporary but I think I'll go see my neurologist anyways. Also, the fibro flares up when I workout and at night the stiffness really sets in. I am faithfully taking calcium and magnesium to help with this but that only seems to be enough when I'm sedentary. I'm going to try a hot bath and stretching before bed to see if that helps.

I believe the weight gain is my muscles retaining water. Maybe the water retention is adding to the aches? I have no idea. My jeans are tighter so it's not as if I'm losing fat and gaining muscle. This has to be water weight.

In an irrational state, I felt like giving this all up and going back to being a couch zombie. I know in the long run that all this shit will be worth it. I want to be able to fill the humidifier without straining under the weight. I want to be able to safely help my old dog into the car so she doesn't hurt herself. It would also be nice to increase my stamina so I can attend events for a longer period of time before pain and exhaustion set in. In short, I'm not giving up like I have so many times in the past.

To try to prevent strain on my body, I'm mostly walking and doing a few of the circuit training dvds 2-3 times a week.

Apologies if this all seems rather boring and repetitive. I'm hoping that by chronicling this information, I will be able to recognize improvements/mistakes down the road. Thanks to those who have read this far. And double thanks to anyone who cares to share their experiences. Tschus.

PS

Simpson Couch-Zombies

Goals-A dramatic update

Ok, it's really not dramatic at all. However since admitting that last week I didn't work out once, I felt compelled to get back on the horse this week. So far I've taken the dogs for walks every day this week. It helps that the weather is beautiful!

I'm checking out some new workout dvds to purchase in the near future. I've also ordered some additional supplements to help meet my goals: CoQ10 being one of them. It's supposed to help oxygenate the blood and ease muscle pain as well as increase energy. I've had doctors tell me to take it in the past, which I did along with other vitamins. That was when I had the 4 month "mystery rash" which I attributed to the myriad of things I was taking. That's when I stopped taking everything and started up on the medications. (I think the mystery rash was an allergy to the B-vitamins.) The CoQ10s expired and smelled funny, hence the necessity of a new supply. It can lower blood sugar so I'll have to be careful with this one. Some people find relief in fibromyalgia symptoms and I'm hoping it will help a bit with fatigue and aches. I'll review the results if/when I feel anything.

I'm either bloated as hell or I've gained weight. The scale has gone up but Aunt Flo is a dirty whore and maybe she brought with her some major water gain. I have no idea; I'll weigh in officially next week. By the way, I did a google image search on "Aunt Flo is a dirty whore" and this is what I got:

Aren't you lucky? Two blog posts in one day. Huzzah, I feel accomplished today.

Until next time, tschus.

Foggy Wednesday

The fog has settled in over our town, dampening sound and reducing visibility to about a car length in front of you. Who can resist getting into the thick of it for some photo time?

Smells like love in here

Happy Valentine's Day. I really don't need an excuse to eat chocolate lately. I've been consuming mass quantities of all that is unhealthy. As an aside, what do they put in Cheetos to make them non-filling? You can just eat and eat and eat them and never get full. I smell a conspiracy.

I must be honest and tell you all that I didn't work out once last week. I was lazy and tired from medical issues. Plus I've been stitching like a fiend so I can get all my projects done in a timely manner. If all goes well, I will be making something for an Evil Dead blog. I don't want to talk about it until the pattern is put together. My "job" requires me to watch Evil Dead 2 over and over again. Wow, life is rough!!

So back to not working out. This last week was the worst I've felt in terms of energy for some time. I hobbled into my rheum doctor's office last week and they scolded me for not taking my medicine. I went home with some samples and a new drug too. One of the drugs is an anti-malaria drug which also fights inflammation. I guess I'm all set for mosquito season when it warms up around here. I should go build a canal now that I have super anti-malarial skills.

So in the last week I have been on my ass, stitching for the most part. I did however get to a couple small museums. Ron and I went to the Johnson County Museum. They had a nice 1956 Bel Air on display which we ogled over:



I also attended a meeting at our local city museum. They have some interesting things there and the people seem pretty dedicated to preserving local history. I don't think they get a lot of volunteers with professional experience. Although I was invited to join the board, I didn't want to commit yet until I know how much work my other board position requires. I definitely miss working in the museum/archives environment; I'll probably get more involved with them all as time goes by. Too bad they don't have funding to pay for a part-time position! :)

Patton and I had our weekend at the assisted living facility again. It had to be about 75 degrees inside. It's very stifling, especially in the smoking section. Patton was pretty tense on this visit. I hope he's feeling ok. His breathing sounded "snotty" last night but today he seems better. He did get saluted once though so people are remembering his name and the fact he's named after General Patton.

Here I am trying to get a nice portrait with the dogs. Unfortunately they thought the camera remote was a dog treat:



As you can see, I desperately need a hair cut.

The bathroom project continues but I will save that for another post later in the week. It's finally like we will finish the guest bathroom. Whew!

Ok, certain chemicals are taking over my brain so I am ending this post now. It hasn't been all thus far so time to stop trying.

I leave you with romantic, love-themed tattoos from the web. Happy Valentine's Day!

Tschus.

Ouch!

[Click here to learn more about Rheumatoid Arthritis, or RA.]

Bad Bex! I took yesterday off from exercising and I probably should have just done it. I didn't do it today either but to give myself a little credit, I have been gimping around for the past two days. My knees and fingers are really painful lately, which can be attributed to working out at too high of an impact and lots of stitching.

I had my regular rheumatology appointment today with the physician's assistant. She was great and talked with me for about a half an hour. I told her what's been going on, we discussed my last lab results and discussed further treatment options. I was happy to hear my liver levels are back to normal. I'll keep having my blood checked every two months to check liver functions as well as my white cell count.

I also asked her what would happen if I cease taking my medication. What exactly happens if you do not treat RA? I didn't know that the constant inflammation in the body can attack the lungs and heart. Not only would I risk those wearing away my joints and cartilage, but it can cause heart disease. I also asked her if it was common for someone like me to show normal lab results while receiving treatment but still have pain and fatigue. She said absolutely. That's why it's important, she went on, to treat the person, not the lab result. Gotcha.

I also discussed with her concerns about medication and co-pay costs. I walked out of there with two samples of my biologic which made me so grateful. I was able to finally take my shot today and I started a new therapy along with it.

I've noticed that on days when I take my monthly shot, I should take it easy. No work outs, low stress, lots of water and good foods. So for the second day in a row, I'm on my ass. But tomorrow I will be back at it!! Related to this, I found a cool, free tool for people with RA. It's the RA Fit Kit which you can personalize a workout routine to fit your needs and fitness level. Just thought I'd pass that along!

I'm going to chill out today but tomorrow life goes back to 'normal.'

Tschus.

The Stylish Blogger Award

My friend Sonja tagged me at her blog with something call the Stylish Blogger Award.

The rules:

Thank and link back to who gave you the award.
Share seven things about yourself.
Award up to 15 bloggers, and let them know about the award. (I'm not sure I have 15 bloggers on my list but I will check!)

1. My husband and I like to spontaneously dance with no music playing.
2. I can't stop playing Dead Space 2 even though it makes me scream. (It's very, very scary.)
3. I have at least eleven scars on the front side of my torso.
4. I really like cheese.
5. I yell at people in traffic a lot.
6. I don't believe in coincidences.
7. The smell of baking in my house makes me feel incredibly happy.

Sunday musings

I'm not a big professional football fan. I was hoping the game was already on so I could hit the grocery store in peace. I guess half the town was there to pick up trays of sausages laden with bbq sauce, huge racks of pork ribs and vats of potato salad. I've never seen our little grocery store so crowded before. I was also surprised at the large families there. No, not large as in "fat", but in the amount of children. The mean size of each family was about 4-5 kids plus parents.

I also browsed through my Facebook page's suggestions lately on who I should befriend. There are quite a few people that I don't know but also a lot of people from high school. It's odd to see people from my youth all grown up, posing happily with their children on their profile pictures. My first reaction is "holy shit I can't believe all these people have kids already!" Then I remember that I've been out of high school for over fifteen years.

For almost eight years I was a full time step mom. The Kid is a young lady now and the farther she falls into her teenage years, the more alien she becomes. Teens are crazy human beings!! Google needs to come up with a teenager-to-adult translator on web pages. Cripes. It's hard maintaining a connection with her when she's so far away and at her age, the last thing she wants to do is talk on the phone with an "old" person. It makes me sad sometimes but I understand being a kid and wanting freedom.

I'm wondering if my step-mom years will be the only years I'll know as a parent? A family member recently asked me if I've given up on the idea of kids. Interesting question. I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I guess I have a few more years to decide and then I'm probably a bit too ripe to make a healthy kid anymore. Plus I really am not going to keep going through these surgeries. One more and it's time to prepare for the hysterectomy of DOOM.

Just an aside, I have noticed that when you put this stuff out there, you get a lot of judgement. Not just fertility but any medical issue. Go all natural, lose weight, try less, try harder, take more medications, take no medications, try standing on your head, worship Satan, cover your body in magnets and jump in a microwave, etc. You get the idea. I guess when you vent about this shit, people want to solve it for you. Because they care about you or are just incredible know-it-alls. I appreciate the offers of kind advice. I get tired of the pushy, judgmental types though.

So that leaves me back at the question, will we have children? I have no idea. I'm not even sure it's up to us anymore. We aren't trying right now. Maybe this fall we'll try again. I do get that gooey feeling whenever I'm out and see a little baby. I remember what it was like to teach a happy little kid how to tie her shoes and how to read. Watching the same annoying cartoon over and over again. Baking cookies together and cuddling on the couch. Yep, I'd like that feeling again but I recognize that it might not be in the cards for us.

I'm not sure really where I'm going with this post. It almost feels like I have to defend myself sometimes. Then again, I do put this out there for everyone to see. Want to guess how many times I've heard that the cure to all my problems lies in The Secret? Yeah, for the record, if I didn't have hope or a positive attitude in life, I would have given up a long time ago. Everyday I talk myself into getting out of bed and doing something wonderful, amazing and spectacular with my day. Sometimes it's amazing, wonderful and spectacular enough just to eat, bathe and take care of the animals and husband for a 24-hour period. I believe I am a wonderful person who deserves love, happiness and all good things that life has to offer. However, this Secret concept is pretty flawed. So although I believe in all good things in life, that I am worthy of good things, what can I blame my struggles on?

Here is what I think: Having a positive, can-do attitude enables and encourages you to go out and meet your goals. People who believe they can do something have a far greater chance of accomplishing that goal then a person who doesn't believe in the possibility and doesn't try. It's a great thing to feel good about yourself and believe in your potential. It's shitty to say that your life sucks or your health is shit or you got raped and beaten because you don't put out enough good vibes. Life is more of a yin yang: with the good you have the bad. Good and Evil. Light and Dark. Positive and Negative. It's all about a balance. I have autoimmune disease and chronic pain issues. However my whole life is not crappy. My mother did not die a painful death of cancer because she didn't think enough happy thoughts. Sometimes shit happens and we won't know the who or why or how or wtf until we pass on from this world to the next. Plus, I'm pretty sure The Secret didn't bring anyone millions except for the author of the book.

Anyways, it's time to bake banana bread. Or should I think really intensely about banana bread until it magically appears before me? Heh, sorry. Off I go, tschus.

Accountability

I worked out five out of the last six days. I am posting about this because I hope that if I type it out for public view, I will continue my exercise trend. (By the way, I count two days of shoveling for 30+ minutes as working out.) My goal is to drop a size and to build up my stamina so I can get out and enjoy things more. My fatigue has come back with a vengeance and the only way I can think to counter that is to get off my ass and work out. That seems counterintuitive when you feel like shit and all you want to do is sleep. But it really helps in the long run.

So far I have the following DVDs:

Slim in Six
Jillian Michaels - Yoga Meltdown, 30 Day Shred and No More Trouble Zones
10 Minute Trainer

Any other suggestions would be helpful! I'm looking for low-impact cardio and strength training. I hate working out around people so I think a gym is a waste of money. I really love to walk and have been in great shape in the past by just walking 2-3 miles a night. However this weather blows ass and I am not up for the Abominable Snowman Fat Burn.

So here is another way to be accountable: posting my weight and loss/gain each week. Am I fucking crazy? Probably. But if I can't get myself to work out through positive reinforcement, then maybe the shame route is the way to go.

Height: 5'8" (I don't expect that to change as I am pre-menopausal. If I shrink, then I have a lot of other issues to worry about.)
Weight: 164.5.
Goal: I don't really care as I would like my clothes to fit better. However let's shoot for 155 lbs for now.
Inches: Hmm. I should do this. It makes more of a difference in the long run. I will do this after my period. I'm crazy but not into inflicting emotional distress upon myself today.

So here is my workout space. Patton likes to root me on by standing over my head while I do situps.





How about a recovery beer instead of a nasty protein shake? Hey, I know I'm trying to get in shape and tone up, but dammit I haven't had a drink all week. It's Friday. Getting in shape doesn't have to be about denying yourself all joys in life, right?

Well there ya go. I challenge others to meet their goals along with me. Whether you'd like to get in shape, save money, curb back on your porn addiction, or whatever, feel free to post a link to your blog. Or state your goals and humiliate yourself alongside me!

I leave you with a self-portrait fail from yesterday. My title for this image on Flickr is "I Tried To Do a Self-Portrait and All I Got Was This Lousy Duck Face."



Have a good Friday, tschus!

Pictures say it all

Snowmeggedon, Part 1

It's a big deal when KC gets a lot of snow. Where I am from, this is an everyday occurrence. Here it is End of Days.

I have no idea how much snow we got but I do know that it's cold out and I can't see the driveway. Once I dig out, I can get better photos. For now you have to put up with what I can see from my yard.







During the storm, at about 2:30 AM, Ron woke up and discovered someone had shit and pissed all over in the basement. When he woke me up, I thought he wanted to start shoveling. (It's hard to "come to" in the middle of the night on Ambien.) I think Tobin got diarrhea from the new food I purchased. Don't worry, I didn't take photos of it. However we are out of paper towels. Yeah. Cleaning up diarrhea on carpet without paper towels is fun. I don't think we're going to get the stains out so it is definitely on the table to rip the carpet out and put tile down here. I wish we could afford radiant floor heating though. It's going to be super cold down here without carpet. Damn dogs.

So I'm tired and crabby because not only were we up an hour and a half cleaning the floor, but Tobin also woke me up at about 6AM with a desperate need to go back outside. I think his tummy is better now but that serves me right for not having Immodium in the house.

Anyone know how to tile a floor? How about free radiant floor heating? COME ON!

Ok, my bitchy self is going to nap today. Or shovel. Probably both although I have no illusions that I can shovel that mess by myself. I am definitely one achy, arthritic, crabby bitch right now.

Stay warm and out of the ditches. Tschus!

Thanks for the reposts!

Thanks to Geek Crafts and Evil Dead News for reposting some of my Bruce Campbell stitches!

It really helps when people reblog/repost your stuff, so I appreciate it. Thanks peeps!