Sinus-palooza

The struggle continues. Maybe I am so focused on weight loss because I can't control any of the other things going on with my body. It's more challenging to keep up with little Miss Hyperdrive these days. The kid is crafty. Sometimes she will give me a little look, a sly grin...then launches off like a crazy, baby torpedo. I've noticed my body is trying to adapt to the new physical demands of parenthood. My biceps are the biggest I've ever seen them. But a few things are not 100%, like my knees. Oh wow, I tried standing up from a crouching position while holding EK today and I couldn't do it. It hurt so much! And she's the age now where she wants to be held; asking with her big, baby browns and her little hands, pulling on my pants. And twice now, I've blacked out momentarily when standing up too fast, once holding EK. We were about to fall over when my head cleared. Does any of this worry me? Hell yes it does. But what the hell can I do about it? I've told doctors about these things and they never seem concerned. If it doesn't show up on an xray or blood test, they don't seem to think there is a real problem. All in her head, they may say to themselves. When your medical audience is apathetic, you eventually assume the same attitude. Also known as "FUCK IT."

So I've had blood coming out of my nose whenever I try to blow it. This has been going on for about two weeks. I'm always congested but it's been worse lately and now with the constant bleeding from my head, my nasal passages are swollen and painful to touch. I've let this go because I figured I'd be told it's just allergies and I'd go home feeling like an idiot for rushing to the clinic to head off an infection. So now the nurse tells me over the phone I better come in because it's probably an infection. No shit? How about you save me the trip by looking at my chart and seeing I've been in twice this year for sinus issues. Then kindly call in a prescription for a Zpack. Nope, got to go to the walk-in clinic. No appointment for you! You go to the walk-in clinic, now! So I'm getting my happy ass up early in the AM to hopefully get in first at the fucking walk-in clinic. Yes, because people with a shitty immune system love to sit in a clinic's waiting room for an hour and a half. Sorry, I am just frustrated because I'll have to reschedule my neurology appointment for the fifth time. Can you tell I hate walk-in clinics?

Thanks for letting me vent. I think I hear a shot of Nyquil calling my name. And maybe a couple of tampons for my nose. Have a good'un. Tschus.

Never Give Up

Today is a new day. Today I started out with banana bread. To be fair, I really wanted to try out some new gluten-free flour I received through a Groupon Deal. It's called Jules Gluten-Free, if you are curious. And who wants to waste those mushy bananas? Well it turned out better than I expected and I know how to tweak it a little for next time. But it's 4 Weight Watcher points a piece. Ouch.

What? You expected me to transform overnight? Ha, me neither. I'll get there though.

For several months I've been true to my elliptical trainer, doing most of my workouts with it. Sometimes I could hardly do 10 minutes, but I had to try. Despite being low impact, it does make my knee click quite a bit but, my knees are going to scream no matter what I do. I've tried doing some low impact aerobics and little walks with the dogs or baby when it was nice. Today I tried Zumba with the X-Box Connect. I did the easiest level and sweat my ass off. I KNOW I wasn't doing the dance moves right but I didn't care. So what if my silhouette didn't match up with the person on screen? Hell, there was always at least one dog behind me during the workout so I blame them for messing up my score. Sure....the dog did it. Mmmhmm. I flailed and stepped and turned around in the basement, not really doing Zumba so much as Grover's "Near/Far" routine.

Whatever you look like when you workout, be it at the gym or in your basement, don't worry what you look like. Concentrate on how your body feels and try to have some fun. And when you fall or forget the steps, just get right back to it. Rome wasn't conquered in a day. Slow and steady win the race. Insert other inspirational cliche here. Ok, I think I'll stop now and finish eating my baby carrots. Until next time...tschus.

Yo-yo

I am ashamed of myself. Forgive me God, for I have sinned. I have regained 10 lbs! TEN POUNDS. It is sobering to even type it!

What happened, you say? It all started around Easter. We bought all kinds of goodies for our daughter's basket. Well you can only fit so much in the little, plastic eggs so I started eating what was leftover. Also, why the hell did we even do the basket? It's not as if we would let a one year old go crazy and eat a bunch of sugary foods. So what were we thinking? I can't speak for my spouse, but I think it was an excuse for me to bring the food into this house. During my weight loss success, I could not eat what I did not have. So therefore, I never learned willpower or moderation. Once the flood gates open, it's hard to stop the flood. And boy did I "flood" my body with candy bars. It became a way of injecting my brain with that wonderful rush of euphoric chocolaty goodness. The giant "ON" button for a quick serotonin fix.

Also about this time I switched some of my medications. One drug I had been on had the amazing side effect of killing my appetite. It also seriously lowered my already low blood pressure. I became dizzy and exhausted. Half my day was sleeping while the baby slept. So the doctor switched me to something else and my blood pressure went back to the normal 80/110. My appetite returned too. Boy howdy, did it ever! So the appetite sharply rising along with Easter candy equaled a huge setback on my weight loss journey.

I am so pissed at myself. I'm pissed that I am still on medications that make me hungry and pissed I am an emotional eater on top of this pile of dieting disasters. By the time I attended the Shredder Nation weekend in Chicago last month, I was already up about 8 pounds. I even managed to gain weight while I was there! How embarrassing.

But I want to take this time to comment on that weekend. Other than my own setbacks, I had a BLAST! I met some really great people and I learned more about nutrition and exercise. I felt truly inspired and excited listening to all the testimonials. It was worth every penny. And I got to see a little bit of Chicago, my first trip to the Windy City. I bought a new purse and am now loving dehydrated apricots and dark chocolate covered cranberries. Dr. Ian was great and boy, did he run us hard during the workouts! I love Dr. Ian and what he's done for so many people.

Now that I'm back home and back to my routine, I find myself wondering how the hell do I get back on track? I can't go back to starving myself, which is what was happening on that medication. I am not physically able to workout aggressively. In fact my arthritis is flared up a bit and my fibromyalgia flares come and go. I could start all over with Shred and do that again. However I found myself starting the plan over and deviating far too much. I wanted some freedom to eat some of the foods I loved! I have heard so many people swear that Weight Watchers gave them tools to lose tons of weight. I decided to try a three month, online membership to see what all the hoopla is about.

At first it seemed pretty easy to eat within my points. But it's harder than I thought! I realize it's all about me making better choices. I am appalled however how just eating a typical meal with a meat, veggie and piece of bread costs me half my day's worth of points! They "nickle and dime" ya on this plan. Piece of bread, 2 points. Plus 1 point for a smidge of buttery spread. Plus another point for jelly. Three points for oatmeal and another 2 points for a cup of fat-free milk. Coffee is zero but if you put some of that delicious Coffee Mate in it, you have to add a least one or two more points. So now I'm at 10 points for breakfast and am only allowed 26 points a day! Ok, ok I must learn to start the day with less. Coffee and oatmeal, 5 pts. Lunch needs to stay around 5 pts as well as supper. That leaves me about 5 points for snacks. BUT fruit and veggies are free! However some of the members will warn you that eating all the fruit you want every day will overload your body with sugar, causing you to potentially GAIN weight. Good lord, you are F'd no matter what, it seems.

What's a girl to do? Shred, which has worked in the past but is a bit restrictive, or Weight Watchers with points that I seem to run out of by mid-day? What if it's possible to do both? And if so, is there any advantage to this method? Well I'm going to find out. I'll report back on that soon. Wish me luck! Or sanity. I'll take either one! Tschus.