Last week I fought some crazy idiot online who stole my photos and used personal information about my family and hobbies to create a fake Facebook profile. Can you believe it? Should I be flattered? I wasn't. I was all BEX SMASH about it and am pleased that the profile is gone now. But I do feel really weird about posting anything again. So I've been going back and forth about taking down this blog or making it private. I'm still on the fence so if this thing goes private, the two of you who read it will need to register. No biggie.
Despite the identity thievin' sonsabitches, I thought I'd post my morning thus far. It's very exciting, so prepare to be wowed. In the mornings, I lay in bed, listening to the baby monitor beep and wish I could hit the snooze button. Babies don't have snooze buttons. Why is it that I can only sleep comfortably and blissfully when I have to get up? Then I limp to the bathroom, take my pills and start the day.
As soon as I entered the kitchen, the dogs wanted treats. I have no biscuits to give them so I dumped a bunch of stale Pupcorn on the floor and let them go to town.
Horry, chillin' among his Pupcorn remnants.
After making some very weak coffee (I can't handle caffeine anymore. What curse is this, that has fallen upon me????!) I checked in with the baby. She was hyper right out of the starting gate. I put a book and the Dream Lites pillow in her crib to distract her while I made a bottle. Now, it specifically says on this pillow not to let your child stare directly into the lights. That is why we don't put it in her crib with her. First of all she'd press the button all night and mess around with it. Secondly she'd stare into the lights and something bad would happen. I don't know, it could damage her eyes or swallow her soul or something. Anyways, I've renamed it the Hypnotoad.
That's just the first hour of my day. I would continue, but the baby has a load in her diaper and also would like to play with me. Phewie! And some day she won't have poop in her pants (I hope) and will have nothing to do with me because she'll finally realize I'm not cool. So I better take advantage of this time, poop or not, and hang with little E. I'll eventually have breakfast, renew some drug prescriptions over the phone, leave yet another message for my no-good lawyer and then pray nap time goes well so I can put my feet up again. And if I'm lucky, I'll have the energy to go to Walmart and buy formula. Oh happy day!! Heh, all right, enough sarcasm for now.
Have a fan-tab-ulous day. Eat well, get some exercise and make time to play. Tschus.
