Finding that "happy place"

I can't believe we're half way through June. Every day is another adventure! My wee one is crawling, saying Momma and Da Da, got her first tooth and can pull herself into a standing position, if very motivated. Time goes so quickly.

The organic experiment in the house is going well. I find myself trying new recipes to use up the produce before it spoils. Today I had regular blueberries and organic strawberries to use up so I tried this recipe for Blueberry and Strawberry Buttermilk Cake. I wish I had read through the comments because I made one mistake. I should have cut up the fruit into smaller pieces. Too much fruit, or too large of pieces, make it harder for the cake portion to bake through properly and evenly. Therefore mine is a little overdone because the toothpick kept coming up with batter. Despite being overcooked, it really is a light-tasting cake and the flavor of the berries is just right. I would have taken a picture but mine sure doesn't look like the one on the website! Now I still need to use up some small potatoes, carrots and radishes. That should be easy.

I will not lie. The last few weeks has not been my best. I think I let the stress of going from doctor to doctor to doctor, never getting any time out for myself and have some fun, really get to me. I remember a time when, although stressed, I wasn't out to try and be someone I am not. I think in the last twelve months I've been trying to be what I think others expect of me. I quit stitching things that make me happy and was trying to figure out what super artsy thing I should be doing. I stopped listening to my voice and listened to all the others telling me to behave this way, do this, react that way instead, etc. Once I stopped listening, once all the opinions and influences were shut out of my head, I realized that no matter which way I go, all roads end up at the same place.

I can't go on like this, going to four or five appointments every week. I'm letting all this take over my life and it sucks. So! Hopefully I'm at the maintenance level now and I can just go a couple times a month from now on. Even better if I can get off some medications too down the road. Almost two months of 3-5 appointments a week is shitty. Maybe it's time to revisit acupuncture.

Even though I probably burned some bridges, I am feeling more peaceful. I feel like I've finally accepted that these conditions aren't going away. Having these issues is not extraordinary; it's normal. This is my new normal and some days will be worse or better than others. But there is no need to dwell on something that is an every day thing now, right? And I don't need to convince anyone that I hurt, or I'm exhausted. If they don't believe me, that's their problem. I don't have to like my situation either, and it's only a small piece of the greater picture. I have more good things in my life than bad.

That brings me to the HAPPY PLACE. To get back to my happy place (not to be confused with a happy ending) I made a list of things I would like to stitch and I spent two, painstaking days working out all the details of the first pattern. My spouse and I have a new blog in the works and I'm re-watching all the Harry Potter movies. Right now I'm laying on the floor (because I feel like shit) with my beautiful, silly and smart baby girl while we (I) watch Harry Potter. Such simple things, and yet it took me so long to get back to the basics.

I have to go now. EK and I have more Harry Potter to watch. More like I am trying to watch the movie while she tries to eat my hat. Have a good day. Tschus.

What wouldn't you do?

I've been blogging on and off about the fur babies. Our black rescue dog, Horry, has terrible hip dysplasia. Horry is only 2 years old. I am not sure what his story was before we met, but I do know he feared men, hated other dogs, has a large knot of scar tissue on his head and in general, he had "checked out" around people.

However, Horry is now a happy boy! He plays with toys, he hangs out with our alpha dog, Tobin, like they've been friends forever. He doesn't intimidate our submissive boy, Patton, nearly as much. We've had our Horry for a little over a year now and even though he's still phobic about thunderstorms, fence fights with an unfixed Golden Retriever AND has bad hips, we love him. You can just tell he's grateful to be here. His tail wags, he lets me brush him, he waits patiently for his breakfast and dinner and he also gives us licks on our hands. I was hoping he was a candidate for stem cell therapy, but he's not. So we're trying the next best thing while we painstakingly save for his surgery and get our house finances in order. So yesterday was his first day of acupuncture.

I assisted the doctor at Aid Animal Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri. I held Horry on the table while the doctor and I talked. She gently kneaded his back muscles and when she found the right "spot", she inserted a very thin needle into his skin. He only flinched two or three times during the procedure. As anxious as he was, he did lay down a couple of times which, to me, was amazing. He normally could not relax at all around strangers. We aren't sure if anything is working yet but we are hopeful! To see testimonials about pet acupuncture, see this link.

I'm sorry I don't have better photos of this. I really had to keep both hands on Horry to make sure he didn't step off the table and fall.

We had the discussion a while ago when we found out about his hips. He's so young and he is a part of the family. If we stay disciplined, we can afford this surgery in a few years. We also recently found out that Patton needs knee surgery! He has a luxating patella on both back legs. Sheesh. He doesn't seem in terrible pain, but with dogs, they don't show pain until it's pretty awful. Since Patton means so much to people even outside of our home, we will try and have his procedure done as well. I know so many people would not go to this much trouble for a pet. But our dogs are more than pets, they are family. And if this helps Horry, I may just give acupuncture another try!

Monday Mourning

Ok so last week I didn't get through all my daily themes I had brilliantly planned in my head. I might as well admit that with a baby who just started crawling, three dogs who are running away from the baby, and my own limitations, the blog is not getting refreshed every day. However, I will do what I can, when I can.

I believe what goes around, comes around. When I was a kid, I HATED Elmo. His high pitched voice, the Elmo songs I endured in DC traffic when my nieces were very small, and the damn Tickle Me craze every Christmas. My best friend and I would punch Elmo in the face when we saw one at the drug store. He was an outlet for our teen angst. So guess what my MIL brought to the house this weekend? Yep, Elmo. An Elmo doll and little chair with his big face on it. And the baby LOVES IT. It doesn't even talk and she loves it! Is it the hypnotic eyes? I have no idea. But I think this is karma coming to get me for all the wrong I did Elmo all those years ago.

That's about it for my Monday post. As for Elmo, I'm sleeping with one eye open from now on.

Tune In Tuesday!

Ok, since I'm home a lot I must admit that I watch a lot of television. There's good and bad out there. But right now I'm loving Impractical Jokers, on truTV. I normally don't laugh out loud when watching a show, so you know it's funny if I'm near tears from laughter. Have you seen this show yet? What do you think? I like it because no one gets hurt and no one is humiliated in a bad way so I don't feel bad watching it. Definitely not like Jack Ass. Check them out!

Monday Mourning

Well, the title of the blog is not quite accurate because today is a holiday. So thank you to all the veterans out there and I paused today to remember those who never came home.

If you ever go to Kansas City, I recommend visiting the National World War I museum, located under the Liberty Memorial.  This memorial was erected after the community raised over $2.5 million in only ten days.  It commemorates the first World War but is often the site of remembrance for all wars.  The museum portion is one of the best museums I have visited to date. Check it out here.

For a few weeks I've been pondering over this blog. It started as a space to clean my brain of thoughts, to vent, and to find humor in difficult situations. As with everything in life, it is ever evolving. Maybe it's time this space had more organization and more of a purpose. I am the type of person who doesn't pick one thing and master it. I pick several things and do well in each, but never master any of them. I enjoy target shooting, baking/cooking, spending time with the baby, playing with my dogs, etc. Therefore I am going to have categories for each day, except Sunday. That's my day off. And if/when life gets too crazy and I can't blog, I will just skip those days. Since this IS the Blog of Arrrrghhhh, it wouldn't be the same if I cut out any and all rants! Monday is the day for that. Even housewives hate Mondays, save days like today, which are holidays.

I actually don't have much to vent today. The baby is teething and scooting/crawling everywhere so my free time is very limited now. The teething makes her cranky and the scooting ensures that anything and everything she finds is a potential hazard. I will bitch about the weather because it is like walking into a sauna out there. It doesn't matter the temperature because no matter what, if you spend even a few minutes outside, sweat starts to drip off your face. The lows at night are in the 70s too. Ick.

Health-wise, I'm ok. The docs kicked up my muscle relaxer and the side effects seem to be racing heart, concentration problems, and drowsiness. These are times when I need to evaluate the side effects versus the benefits. I am a bit concerned about my resting heart rate so I will bring that up at the next appointment. I'm having an MRI soon and that kind of blows. I hope it helps in the long run.

My view on life is just like all my stitching projects: it's a work in progress, all the time. I make mistakes, tear out the stitches and start over again. I just need to pause more often to straighten out the threads, tighten my stitches and check over my work. And to also appreciate more the work I've done so far.

This photo was posted with its story on my other blog but I will just throw one photo of it here. This says to me that life is fun and beautiful but sometimes there is shit. And that is ok.

Belated Mother's Day

Holy cow, how could I have forgotten to blog Mother's Day!? I haven't had a lot of free time these last few weeks. I hope all you mommies had a great day. And remember, I include moms of fur babies. I got a card from my husband, one from the dogs and one from Elsa. It was very cute the way everyone "signed" the cards.

We spent a couple hours at the arboretum which is a short drive from our home. It was wonderful to get lost under the thick canopy of branches. All sounds were dampened, save whatever bird calls we could hear. EK did amazing. The little wiggle worm lasted two hours in her stroller before she announced enough was enough. She outlasted even me! I am glad I had the foresight to bring my cane. This is the first time I have been photographed with it. I felt sort of like FDR. Some people gave me a second glance but I didn't feel ashamed. Instead I felt happy to be out in such beauty despite my annoying joints. I will quit boring everyone and just put some photos up for you to see. Have a wonderful Memorial weekend! Tschus.

Plant Impatience

I'm plant impatient. Through the generous help of my husband, father and neighbor, I was able to get my flower beds going this year. I tried to choose a lot of perennials to save money over the long run. All the plants are so little! I can't wait for them to fill out and have more blooms. I can already see the front yard needs more water and the back yard...the dogs and I are still battling for supremacy over the plants.

I didn't pick last year's onions so they grew back. I gave up a bit on doing vegetables this year and only put in one tomato plant. The rest is herbs: thyme, rosemary, basil and oregano.

What a mess this is. Last year the crab grass took over and the dirt was hard as cement. My husband dug it all up again for me and we planted a peony root, five coneflower roots, sage and lavender. If the roots don't come up I will try putting in established plants one more time before I mulch. If those die off, I'm saying hell with it, covering the area in mulch and making it look more like a tiny park. I'll put various sizes and shapes of potted plants there instead of trying to put more plants in the unforgiving soil. I would also like to try attaching a lattice to the fence behind it and seeing what I can get to grow up the fence.

The front yard is starting to come along. I hope the summer sun is kinder to us this year because last year it was way too hot. Here is what I have done so far.

Last year's lavender is really growing! And a zinnia to keep it company.

This is part of the bed on the side of the garage. Coneflowers and a peony have started growing. I have another lavender started, more zinnias and a few petunias.

This was a real eyesore but it looks 100 times better already. I'm worried that the next big rain storm will wash it downhill. I'm hoping that the plants will establish well and prevent too much erosion. I have lavender, dianthas and coral bells.

Roses are going crazy. Not sure what the other bush is called but it doesn't have much going for it. I need to get them trimmed up more.

This is a beautiful bloom on the tree in our front yard. I have no idea what it is, do any of you??

Welcome! This solar doggy doesn't work. Kind of a POS but I will keep him around anyway. That's all for now. Hurry up and grow already!! G'night.