I spent most of yesterday feeling like hell but I made it through the work day. I talked to a nurse at the rheumatologist's office and she told me they have no idea how to get me off Cymbalta if the taper dose I'm on isn't working. Go back to the general physician or detox through a psychiatrist. Wow. Talk about passing the buck. I'm a fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis patient and even though she didn't initially prescribe this to me, I thought she would at least try to help. The problem with going back to the GP is that I've had to educate her on this drug. My last hope before going to a head doctor is to see if a nuerologist will see me. I'm so angry that doctors put people on this shit with no idea about side effects and withdrawal symptoms, especially since this was supposed to be a temporary treatment. I was so mad about this, I actually called a couple law offices. That got me absolutely no where though.
I needed to unwind last night so I could relax. Ron and I turned on the Wii and played a little Legend of Zelda. That was my first game ever on the NES. I loved that game. The damn thing scrambled on me before I could get the last piece of the Tri-force. I was so pissed! What else is a little emo kid to do? I figured I should try to beat the game finally.
I can't believe how much I remember! I remember where most of the underworlds are and how to find the secret rooms. We played until we made it through four or five levels. Maybe Ron and I are just easily amused but it was fun! Hell, I'm just happy when I can successfully blow off a bad day.
I guess we better get off our lazy butts and run some errands. Woooooooo....have a good weekend!
I'm not even sure how long I've been trying to get off Cymbalta but it feels like forever. After missing yet another day of work, I called my rheumatologist. However she's out of the office so I have to wait, but I'm hoping she has some good advice for me. The withdrawal symptoms are hell. The nurse I talked to said she hears from a lot of people that this drug is hard to come off of. All the research I've done on the internet about coming off this drug and there are fucking support groups for people to get off Cymbalta. I feel like such an idiot for not finding this out before I took the drug. Look! There are even books written on how to get off this drug:
Here are some of the symptoms I'm experiencing that I found on a website:
Dysarthria – The inability to control the mouth muscles when forming words so the words are not clearly spoken and heard.
Insomnia – Not able to fall asleep or sleeping for a shorter time than desired, thus not being able to properly rest and feeling un-refreshed. As a result, a person can become irritable, have difficulty concentrating and feel a lack of energy. This can be caused by stimulants such as by caffeine or drugs or by mental anxiety and stress. Mental stress can be communicated and relieved.
Mood Swings – An emotional shifting as from a state of happiness to a state of depression for a period of time.
Night Sweats – The water-salt, waste product the skin releases is called sweat or perspiration. With night sweats you become wide awake in the middle of the night shivering and cold and wet with your sheets/pajamas soaked in perspiration making it difficult to go back to sleep.
I am so mad about this whole situation. I hate drug companies, I think they are worse than politicians because they are entrusted with people's health yet they push their shit on doctors and patients without disclosing side effects, etc. This crap is wreaking my life right now and I hate it. I feel pretty hopeless and depressed right now and since life is pretty good, I can only imagine it's this damned drug. I'm also irritable as all hell. I'm a barrel of fun!!!
Would a methodone clinic help? I'm only half kidding.
The rain held off long enough for us to participate in the Dog N Jog down in the Country Club Plaza. True to form, Patton whined and peed the whole way. He was very good natured, letting strangers pet him, letting other dogs sniff at him and a big puppy even smacked him in the face with its paw a few times. There were 1000 dogs registered to walk with their humans. Lots of poop and pooper scoopers were there. It felt good to support a good cause. Maybe next year I'll run it.
Not much else to report. We ran a lot of errands on Saturday and yesterday we put up a book shelf. So far it's holding all my Bruce Campbell stuff and sort of looks like a shrine, according to Ron. *geek*
Have a good week everyone! I'm going to load up on Percocet and listen to the thunderstorm.
My loving husband, sick and humorous as he is, shared this blog with me today. If you are having a shitty day, pun intended, read this. Read it even if you are in a good mood. You will laugh your ass off!
Not much new to report. It is supposed to rain on Sunday, well thunderstorm, and we are supposed to participate in the Dog'N'Jog 5K that day. We are taking Patton with us but he hates thunderstorms. I hope it doesn't rain until later in the day. Regardless, we have already paid the registration fee, thus contributing to the charity whether we go or not. But hopefully all will go well. I'm looking forward to it. (By the way, we are walking it, not running. I suck at running!)
I swear, the more I try to assert myself as a professional, the more resistance I get. I kind of feel like the TP to wipe up after the pee-ons. I don't think that those in control of this aspect of my life are doing it because they know my background and truly believe me to be incompetent. I think it's being done because of outside personal influences. Sorry to be so amiguous but I don't want to get too detailed. Basically I have a passion at work, I try to implement my passion at my work and I feel I do a good job of it, and someone thinks (without merit) that I suck at it. So this person squashes anything and everything I do in relation to it.
One thing I've learned by having chronic illnesses is that you have to choose your battles. Stress is the ultimate enemy. It makes everything worse; magnifies pain, heightens emotions, saps energy. In other words, fuck it. This isn't worth it.
All I really want to do is take photographs and be a mom. Those things matter more than work drama.
Frozen pizza awaits! Ahhh it's the little shit that makes me happy.
It turns out that attending a Zombie Walk was extremely therapeutic. I needed a good laugh and I also needed to force myself out of my comfort zone.
I posted on the Kansas City group on Flickr about this and met up with a few of the wonderful people who frequent that group. By watching them, I felt more comfortable to walk up to strangers and take their photos. I have a really hard time doing that. I also knew a couple of the zombies, who were absolutely hilarious. There were zombies of all kinds: Santa Claus, nurses, Shaun of the Dead replete with cricket bat, a Smoker and Hunter from Left 4 Dead and even a guy with an Evil Dead lunch box. A man after my own heart....err, brain.
The best part of the whole walk was that not only did we walk through the First Fridays fancy art crowd, but we also hit a Gay Pride street party. Zombies + gays + techno music + snobs = a freakin' blast. A very kick ass street DJ kicked some Thriller for us as we went past. There were cheers, laughter, sneers, looks of disgust and a few shrieks from the crowd. If you ever have a chance to watch or participate in something like this, I highly recommend it.
Since I over think everything and tend to live inside my Emo brain, I learned something from this whole event. I've been sitting around my house, waiting for people to want to hang out with me, wanting to do something different. I got tired of waiting for last minute invitations. I was so geeked yesterday because of the Imagekind thing and I was surprised that the people I really counted on as friends, couldn't have cared less. I guess it's a schadenfreunde situation; when something goes really well for me, I can't find many people to celebrate with. Maybe when my health is bad and I'm miserable, I make people feel better about themselves. Hahahaaa, anyways. It's my fault for not being more outgoing and trying to branch out with people of similar interests. I can't change people into the friends I'm looking for. That would be....stupid!
Here are some photos from the night. For more, see www.flickr.com/photos/ndbex. The first one is of the KC mayor, who just faced a recount petition. He and his wife are not very well liked in the city with some people although I think he's a pretty good mayor. He and the City Council just need to quit bickering like children and get onto real business. GO FUNKHOUSER! Have a good weekend everyone! I'm off to a cookout. Tschus!
I started an account on Imagekind.com a while ago. It's a lot like art.com but anyone can upload images to sell. It's also a great way of connecting with other artists, most of whom are commercial artists. Also people start accounts there so they can print and frame their images. Everyday they feature certain artists and artwork and today one of mine is there. I'm really happy and excited about it. I've been in a creative slump lately and this was just the motivation I needed to continue.
I have a couple photography field trips planned. I'd like to visit some of the area historic cemeteries. There is also a KC Zombie Walk tomorrow downtown. What a cool opportunity to get some unique shots! Here is the link: http://www.myspace.com/kczombies. I think it will be unique and fun and it coincides with First Friday in the Crossroads Art District. http://www.kccrossroads.org/ I'll be sure to post images later.
I also want to mention today that I got a bunch of free tickets to the Narnia exhibit. If any of the locals are interested in going, I can give you a ticket or two. Please let me know and I'll hook you up! I think it's safe to say that the success of the exhibit will help to extend my job and the jobs of many others. Kind of a big deal.
That's my exciting news. I have to say I'm tickled freakin' pink about the photo site. It really makes me want to keep trying. I never expect to make a dime from anything I shoot. I'm simply doing it because I love it. It's a great outlet for an introvert like me.
I leave you with my favorite youtube video of the day, Advanced Cat Yodeling:
