Sweet Sadie Doo, Part 1

I have dreaded this day, ever since I got my sweet puppy, on February 18, 1997. She's been in pain for a little over two weeks, with what seemed to be just a torn ligament in her knee. However it became clear to us that it was much more when the pain pills and anti-inflammatories were not helping her to heal. Today I carried my best friend, my baby to the car along with Patton and picked up Ron to make her last trip to the vet. We had to go in a few hours early because even heavily medicated, she was in too much pain.

I could no longer bear to see her suffer and promised to take away her pain as my last gift to her.

We laid her on the table and the vet prepped her. She kissed some of my tears and sat patiently. I could not bear to watch but instead talked to her and held her. Soon I felt her head lay heavily in my arms and the vet said, "She's gone."

Our vet helped us get her paw print and then left us to say goodbye. We let Patton see her body but I don't think he understood really what was happening. It was good for him to be there as he kept her calm on the car ride there and helped me to cope. Patton was the first and only dog that Sadie really tolerated. She let him lay down next to her, and just generally infiltrate her personal bubble.

I dug up a ton of photos of her, seeing how I got her before digital cameras were invented. Thinking and seeing her in her active years helps to reinforce that I did the right thing. She loved to go where ever I went, she loved car rides, hated being alone and was always on the go. Lately she could barely get outside to go potty and that was bad enough. The addition of her pain made it all the more unbearable for all of us.

So today I'm sharing a ton of photos of her when she was young, happy, obnoxious, demanding, insolent, beautiful, energetic, and fun. In total, we lived at eleven different apartments/homes and four states. I put "Part 1" on this post because we had 14.5 long, wonderful years together. And part of grieving is going to be writing and remembering so there you have it. If you bother to see it through to the end of this post, then I thank you. I know Sadie Doo is in heaven with God, my mother, Rowdy, the rats and all the other dogs who have preceded her. I don't think she's at a Rainbow Bridge, waiting for me. No, she's already there. And someday we'll all be together-a motley crew of rodents, dogs and people. May God take good care of her until that day.



She is the only dog I've had the pleasure to know since she was a pup. One day, this little dog's ears unfolded into giant triangles framing her tiny head.















She saw her first horse when just a pup.







What else does a single girl do for fun? That's right, get a cheesy photo done with her dog.









There were a lot of photos like this.



And like this, which were post slobber.



At the giant bison in Jamestown, ND.





We went a lot of places together, at first in a small Honda Prelude where she would prop herself up on the back of my seat to stick her head out of the sun roof.



We also lived in some shitty places, as that is about all you can get on a college student's "salary" when you have a dog.



She spent a lot of time watching squirrels from here.



Hoarding bones on the couch.



Crashing a Subway restaurant after a night of partying.



Enjoying our brief stint of farm life in Minnesota.



In all kinds of weather, we went out exploring. Here on an abandoned farm in Minnesota.



She was always great about willingly getting into a bathtub.



But she preferred lakes, streams and creeks.



If there was a body of water nearby, this is what she looked like.



We always went to parks.



I was never a great housekeeper then but she didn't mind.



Sometimes she got dressed up for holidays.



She hated cats. This relationship did not last long.



And this is how I picture her now, in heaven surrounded by wide open spaces, lots of things to smell, water nearby and peace. The Sadie she was of late was not the happy, active, jumping dog she was when young. I miss her terribly but we will be together again some day. Until then, be free pumpkin butt, enjoy some burgers and fries, run without pain and weariness and know that you are still loved and remembered.

I love you Sadie Doo.

Be Spontaneous!

Some of the best things in life are unplanned. I've never been great at being spontaneous but have been getting a lot better at it over the last few years. This morning after a long night of thunderstorms and no sleep (yes, cry baby dogs again), I left hubby to himself while I ran errands.

On the way to town I passed the local airport which is so small that it is used for mostly small aircraft and hobby planes. What a surprise to see planes swooping through the sky, like in the barnstorming days. When I got home I damn near threw my husband into the car and we drove back to the airport.

There were new and replicas of WWI and WWII type planes as well as gliders and some US Military vehicles. My husband's enthusiasm, and the little knowledge I gained from working on an online exhibit at my former workplace, made it a fun, free activity for both of us. (Click here to see the online exhibit. You can see pics of Lindbergh and Earhart while they were in KC.)

I took tons of photos but here are some of the highlights from the day:

















I want this car. Check out the hood ornament below:



Tomorrow is the not-so spontaneous trip to the zoo. Free admission for fathers and fathers-to-be. I'm pretty excited! We love zoos so this will be awesome as long as we get there early enough to beat the heat.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday. Prepare for a zillion zoo pics soon-tschus!

Pinups and Rockabilly

Oh what a weekend! I'm still recovering from it all but happily so.

Even though I had to withdraw from volunteering from the event due to my health and the little bambino nesting inside me, I was damned determined to attend the festivities.

We were an hour late because it took a while to have my hair done. By the way, I got my kick-ass 'do from a place in Merriam, KS called Chop Tops. They were really super and I'm very pleased with the price and the result. After the drive home I spent about an hour just doing makeup. This was my first time putting on false eyelashes on my own. Yikes. I was so paranoid that they would pop off so I brought my glue and an emergency makeup kit with me to the event. Luckily it was unnecessary: those suckers stayed on.

So let me show you the new stuff I got for this night. This is the purse that my husband found listed on Etsy by Ghoulie Girls.



As you can see, he's quite stuffed full of all my damn makeup. I found myself petting my purse several times. I must have felt naked without a dog in my presence.

These shoes arrived the day of, thanks to my hubby. He remembered me posting the link months ago. In fact, it was so long ago that I honestly don't remember them! But he did and bless him, he surprised me. They really added to the monster purse!



My feet were killing me but it was worth it. And they glow in the dark!

We sat in the VIP area which is in an outdoor balcony. The bands were rockabilly which I really enjoy. Kind of a blend of rock and country.

I did not get to meet Shorty Rossi, partly because I thought it cost me money I didn't have (it didn't) and because my feet were sore and I was trying to stay put. Same with the burlesque acts. But I got to see my friends which was the most important part of it, I met Little Darling finally and I also met some really neat people. We left a couple hours early because we were both dog tired.



One of my bff's, Miss February 2010. This lady makes the BEST vegan, gluten-free treats by the way!



This kick ass gal is shipping off for a tour in Afghanistan soon. I'm so sad I didn't meet her sooner! She was like a soul sister, I swear.



Another of my bff's. We met at the Pinup 101 class put on by Vixen Pinup Photography.



Myself and Little Darling, aka Deirdre. She was super sweet and I'm so glad I finally got to meet her.

Are you sensing a theme here? I towered over everyone, yeesh. I think I cleared 6' in those shoes.



We even got to see some honest to God bikers. The crowd was eclectic: yuppies, pinups, cowboy/rockabillies, models, bikers, everyday folks. It was great energy and I had a blast. The only down time was the looks I got for looking pregnant and drinking NA beer. I'm sure some people didn't know it was non-alcoholic but I actually a question about the safety of it. By the way, I've done extensive reading on this and NA beers have less than 0.5% alcohol in it, which is about what you get naturally from fruit juice. It's pretty minimal and it filters out of your blood before it even hits the placenta.

I love dressing up like this and am not sure why. Maybe because most days I don't wear makeup and my wardrobe consists of tshirts, ball caps and shorts almost all of the time. Maybe it's because I was such a tom boy growing up that it's fun to finally act like a girl. I also really dig the look that women had during the 1940's and '50's though. Especially the Hollywood and pinup glamour styles. I love that I can look classy, sexy and show my tatts AND fit in. :)

So baby, when you come into this world, I hope you don't mind the occasional babysitter because Mom has a pinup event to attend!!

That's about all for now. Get ready for more boring blog posts about dogs/animals and gardening. :)

Tschus!

Gardening update and things to come

Whew so much going on this week!

I had a checkup with my OB on Monday. It went really well. I gained back the weight I lost but nothing else yet. I expect to start really packing it on in about another month. I am sticking to the increased dosage of steroids because I am able to walk about every other day without my knees getting too sore. I tried tapering down the other day and paid for it. So hell with that: if it's working and I'm not exploding with weight or trying to kill anyone, then why mess with it? I also heard the baby's heartbeat again which is always reassuring. He/she was moving around so much, that we could only hear the swishing sound of movement but eventually we got a heartbeat. My doctor said it was so amazing to hear it from her point of view because she has seen the inside of my guts. She removed so much endometriosis so many times that she is amazed this happened. I feel so freakin' blessed. So many of my endo sisters haven't been able to have children and after being infertile for a few years, I know how lucky I am.

When my dad was here, we bought and hauled a ton of dirt into the garden box. It took a day to do that and another day to plant it. Right after we filled it with dirt, manure and peat moss, two of the dogs plopped right into the garden. Horace looked happy as a clam to dig away in it. Therefore we decided in an effort to head off the bunnies who have been nibbling my marigolds and to thwart the little shits, errr beloved dogs, we would put up a little fence around it. Ron got that up right after planting and so far it's worked great. He separated one panel so I will be able to get the fence down to walk around in there when needed.



We have three tomatoes (plum, cheery and yellow), two peppers (green and yellow), white onions (Ron hollered at me because I didn't get the non-stinging kind), carrot seeds and a zucchini. I plan to snake the zucchini up along the fence when it starts to branch out.



This was an existing flower bed when we moved here. The big plant in the back will get some flowering shoots but I'm not sure what it is. I got four snapdragon plants on sale early in the spring and so far they are doing really well, despite the dogs stomping around in there.



Closeup of my bird feeding/flower garden. The crab grass is taking over and some of the bird seed has sprouted. I do lay down lawn clippings about twice a month to help enrich the soil and retain moisture. I don't want to put any weed or grass killer in there though because the birds and dogs could get sick.



Are these Tiger Lillies? These were here along with the Irises when we moved here. I love these! My neighbor has some in their front yard and they look lovely.



And here is an overview of the bird area. The decorative, light colored grass on the right is really taking over as well. I'm thinking of thinning that out.

I think this fall or next year we can do another garden box. Maybe that would hold the vining plants like zucchini and cucumbers. I did put in some rhubarb roots in the front yard on the south side where they will be unmolested or ingested by the dogs. I'd like to put some herbs in next year on either side of the rhubarb if it grows there.

Things are so much better now, it's a 180 degree turn around. I was so depressed a few months ago that I just wanted the earth to swallow me up. I'm so glad the docs worked together and got me on these drugs because even though I have a harder time sleeping, I have more energy and less pain. I learned that while it gives me more energy, it's not fool-proof. My dad's visit really wore me out. I was unable to do anything put lay around the house for the last day and a half he was here. But he seemed to understand and was content to have some baseball time on the tv in the guest room. I still swell up too but at least it seems to go away with some rest and compression wraps.

In the last four months I've learned to say no and to pull back and really concentrate on what I can do instead of what I can't do. This is the hardest part of having chronic illnesses: learn to focus on what you CAN do. I think it's especially tough in the winter when the sun is never out, it's so cold that everything hurts and you can't get out to exercise. I have talked to my counselor and I'll be getting a light box next winter as well as working a little more aggressively with the pain doctors after the baby is born. I really don't want to feel as shitty as I did this year with a newborn in the house. That terrifies me.

I've felt a lot of guilt for pulling out of most of my volunteer gigs. I want to help so badly but the physical and emotional demands were just beyond me right now. I try to do what I can to help animals through emails, social networking and donations. And Patton and I still go to the nursing home which is the best feeling in the world. I hope that someday I can go back to doing more but for now, things need to be this way.

Tomorrow I'm off to my old work place to see the Princess Dianna exhibit (in support of all the hard work my former co-workers did on it) before it leaves on Monday and then having lunch with my old gang. I'm so excited to see them! My coworkers were like my family for so long. I really miss the daily interaction I had with them. No matter how pissy I was or how weird I was, I was always in good company. And then Saturday I have pet therapy and then getting my hair done all pin-up and then the big event! I'm so excited to finally meet the founder of Pinups for Pit Bulls (Little Darling, who has been very sweet to me) and Shorty Rossi of Animal Planet's Pit Boss. If you are in the KC area, please come! You can still get tickets, go here to get them!

Whew, I need to take a nap just posting all of this. I don't know how long I'll last on Saturday but dammit I'm going.

Stay cool everyone, tschus!

A to Z Me

Just some Blogger fun for the evening:

A. Age: 34
B. Bed size: King
C. Chore that you hate: Dishes
D. Dogs: Four wonderful, furry, frustrating mutts
E. Essential start to your day: Coffee or tea, followed by cereal
F. Favorite color: Green
G. Gold or Silver: Gold
H. Height: 5'8"
I. Instruments you play: Nothing but I have been known to whistle
J. Job title: Housewife
K. Kids: One on the way
L. Live: Kansas
M. Mother's name: Lois
N. Nicknames: Bex
O. Overnight hospital stays: Not since my mastectomy when I spent three nights and four days (including Christmas!)
P. Pet peeve: Bad manners and shitty drivers and people who chew with their mouths open
Q. Quote from a movie:
It's a trick, get an axe.
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: 2 bros and one sis
T. Time you wake up: Around 4AM, 5:30AM, 6AM and again at 8AM
U. Underwear: Yes. The grannier, the better.
V. Vegetable you hate: Lima Beans. Yick.
W. What makes you run late: My bowel movements.
X. X-Rays you've had: I think I've had everything scanned, xrayed and sonagramed by now.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Pies, cakes, cookies, turkey, anything really.
Z. Zoo animal: Meercats!

Hot and Busy

Oooh that almost sounds suggestive doesn't it? Well today we will be in the upper 90's with a heat index over 100. And the recent visit of my father has made life a bit busier than usual!

We did go to the Royals game and were beaten by the Twins. Another poorly rated team and we still got beat! But it was fun to see the game and people-watch. I love the ladies who walk in spilled beer and steep steps in their three inch heels. Ha! I guess I didn't know baseball games were hot hookup places.







I also took my dad to a historic stagecoach museum/living history farm. It's called Mahaffie Stagecoach Stop & Historic Site. Admission is cheap: only $6 a person. They have a small but thorough visitor's center which leads onto the farmstead and original house. They have staff dressed in period clothing performing the farm chores typical to a farm and stage stop on the Santa Fe Trail. Everyone was very knowledgeable and friendly.



This was a huge draught horse and it was about 90 degrees that day. They planted the corn in small mounds about a foot or two apart so they can use the plow horse to weed between the rows.



One of the staff.



These were some hot chickens!



The goats loved me. The feeling was mutual. Goats rule.



To the Smithy!



The oxen.



The farmhouse/stagecoach stop.



They fed us a sample of some delicious lemon sponge cake in this kitchen.



Of course, you get to ride the coach around before you go.



Dad was thrilled. :)

More photos at Flickr if you are interested.

This week is full of doctor appointments, lunch with my former coworkers and then the big Pinups for Pit Bulls event on Saturday. I can't wait to get all dolled up!

Stay cool. Tschus!