Sweet Sadie Doo, Part 3

Tomorrow is the big baby ultrasound so I'm sure my brain will be bursting with all the excitement. However I wanted to finish up Sadie's memorial. This is a long one, I warn you. But it's the last one and if you've kept up with Parts 1 and 2, then please see this to the end with me.

From 2008 to the present, life settled into a pretty consistent flow of work-home-weekend fun. The dogs were there for all that, as well as the ups and downs we experienced.



She was always jealous when other dogs took away her attention.



She coveted the toys.



Little did I know at the start of 2008 that my body was experiencing issues beyond the normal wear and tear of a tough work week. While I tried to shake off the fatigue, Sadie was there to relax with me.





She was there with a slobbery tongue whenever I felt sad.



She always had a smile for us!



Ruff! It's cold; lemme in!



This was taken shortly after Ron and I got hitched in Vegas. Back to real life!



I always sat on the floor so I could be more accessible for snuggle time.



I love the look here on Patton's face as he looks at her.





After finding out about the endometriosis, I finally decided that the fatigue I was experiencing wasn't my thyroid and it was something more. For a few weeks, they thought it was lupus. The dogs knew something was up because the day of the phone call, they were all over me.



They eventually told me Fibro and RA; it took longer to get the right diagnosis. But life goes on! In the meantime, we went to the park, took walks, lived life the best we could.



Then Rowdy came! Boy, did this latest addition really piss Sadie off. Rowdy had no clue about personal space and was mostly deaf. He either didn't hear her growling at him, or he didn't care.



Sadie and Rowdy all over Ron near the kitchen.



A very happy, calm pack.



On the way to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, Sadie literally sat on poor Rowdy's head. Thankfully Ron noticed and made her move.



Another Christmas.





She was always helpful when there was a mess to clean.



Awww.



Still, winter play days were always a favorite.



Easter, 2009. They were waiting for us to drop something while we cooked.



I took this the day before my second surgery in 2009 so I could print the photo and have it at the hospital. My loved ones.





We went back to the lake that summer but lasted only a day because Rowdy was so uncomfortable. His arthritis was really painful for him.



We did make time for Sadie to hit the boat again though.



More dog parks.



Another winter, another happy Sadie.



Spring, 2010. Sadie's toys always went outside with her to pee.



This mud hole was her favorite place to wallow at one of the dog parks. Oh dear god, it smelled HORRIBLE.



Hahhaa yuck!



Always the princess.



A week after this was taken, Rowdy died. We had him for only a year and a half. We thought we were adopting a young, stray dog but he was very old. It appears that he began having health problems, mainly awful arthritis, and was dropped off in a street and abandoned. We fell in love with him anyways, and his disabilities helped me somewhat when I got my RA diagnosis. If this dog, who is in so much pain, can keep going and show such a zest for life, what was my excuse? When he couldn't come back from yet another seizure, we knew it was time to go. The tragedy of this loss was that we had him for such a short amount of time and he was never properly cared for in his formative years. The grief we felt at this time was tremendous. My job was really spiraling down hill, my health was shit and I fell into a deep depression. Thank God I had the other dogs to get me out of bed every day.



Here she is, getting nice and smelly!!



I'm so glad we did this trip. Here she is, lounging after a hike in the Black Hills, South Dakota. I insisted on bringing her, thinking it might be the last time she was on a trip. And it was. We climbed hills, watched Wild Turkeys, relaxed in the cabin and had a great time.

Driving to South Dakota. I love this picture so much.



Oh boy, another one? Meet Tobin! Tobin gave us all a challenge. He took over her spot in the pack as Alpha and he challenged everyone in the house over everything. He mellowed out after the move to the house.



The introduction of the dogs to the new house. Halloween 2010.



They loved having a fenced yard.



I quit my job after we moved and was able to be a part of a lot of quiet, lovely moments.





Our last Christmas together!



Horace came to us a foster for the first time that week as well.



And we celebrated her birthday Dec. 28, 2010.



Appreciating life, even on a cold, snowy day.



Doggie fun night.



An attempt at a family photo. They thought the camera remote was a treat.



May 2011. The old gal was slowing down. She wasn't in as many photos because she just preferred to be in the quiet, left to herself.



She did come out to help with the garden box however.

This is the last photo I can find of her. In her last days, I knew I should take just one more, but could not bring myself to do so. I didn't want to have a photo of her when she was in pain and sick.

It occurred to me the other day that Sadie came to me during the start of a very crazy, often tempestuous time in my life. Always the introvert, I did not adapt well outside my comfort zones and lived alone through part of college. She was there to keep me company, to help me grow as a person and an adult. She was there as I adjusted to life as a stepmother and wife. She was there through all the verbal abuse and sometimes violence of my marriage. She saw me through the move to Kansas and my new life. And then she was there with comforting kisses and snuggles as I went through several diagnoses, painful procedures, a miscarriage, infertility treatments and the loss of my career. But she was there for so much more than that. She was there for all the laughter, the fun trips, the tears of joy, the feeling of happiness when the sun fell on our faces, a beautiful new home, etc.

I think when I finally got through my first trimester safely, she was thinking, "Mom, I've seen you this far in life and it's time for me to rest. I know I'm leaving you in a really good place now. My job is done but I'll see you again." I thank God for her. Maybe some people can get through all the trials of life on their own, but I needed something. I needed my small headed, fluffy butt, perpetual shedder, TV barking dog to guide me through it.

Sweet Sadie Doo, you have earned this rest of yours and I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. You will always be in the back of my thoughts and my heart. While I miss you terribly, I know you had a great life. I'm so glad I was there to share every step with you.

God Bless and until the day we are united....

Sweet Sadie Doo, Part 2

It's been a few days now and the crying fits are getting better. We still miss her and her absence has left quite a hole in the entire household. But there is comfort knowing she is no longer in pain. There has been a shift in the pack mentality, mainly seen between the two young, large dogs. I think her presence, especially during feeding times, kept some kind of order. But we are confident that things will even out soon.

I have always felt that nothing happens without a reason. Sadie Doo came to me at the beginning of a very tumultuous time in my life. I had just moved out, had a hard time making friends, was in a crappy relationship (one of many) and suffered from major depression. I had a lot of suicidal feelings that first year and other than one attempt, never tried to do it because I was worried about what would happen to her. She was also my security blanket. I never went anywhere without her, even small trips to the store for food. It got to the point where if she saw an open suitcase, she would sit inside of it because she was determined not to be left behind.

Later in life, she moved with me as I moved in with a man and his daughter, and later married this man. The relationship had it's ups and downs and then more frequently it was down. When I left him, Sadie jumped into the moving van, riding shotgun, the whole way to Kansas. I had to put her on puppy prozac because my one week absence (I was away to figure things out and make arrangements)gave her severe anxiety. During this marriage she was there for me while I went through my cancer scares and mastectomy, college, graduate school, several trips home back to ND and other fun trips. But it was during the dissolution of the marriage that her presence was the most comforting.



For our family holiday photo in 2006.



Always one to give kisses.



We continued our tradition of visiting parks.





She was my workout buddy and even in a cold December, we were out walking.



Our pack grew and she wasn't always happy about that. But there were moments when something like a pile of feathers united them all. Unfortunately these other dogs, my other babies, weren't so lucky. They stayed with my ex and through either neglect or deliberate and vicious acts, died not long after I moved.



Christmas was always her favorite time as she always got her own presents and enjoyed unwrapping them. She also unwrapped everyone else's presents.







Winter was her favorite season. She made the snow more fun.

When we moved, life changed dramatically. All the tension, stress and fear left us both and we were finally able to rest.



Relaxing





Lots of cuddle time



After a walk in the rain. We still have this toy but it stopped making elephant noises.



Once in a while, Ron's ex's dogs stayed with us.



I had a second chance at life, at happiness. I cherished every day, especially during that first year in my "new life." And Sadie was there for every step. Here she gets to clean out the empty peanut butter jar.



We spent a lot of time thinking, working through things.





She loved Ron. He was calm, happy and loving to her, as well as to me. Her behavior became more mellow during this time.



And then Patton came! This was taken just days after his adoption, right after we recaptured them after they chased a small herd of deer outside the townhouse. Patton was the only dog she didn't growl and lunge at. His calm temperament further mellowed her out.



Buddies



We moved that year and soon after the start of all my health diagnoses started.





Shortly after my first endometriosis surgery, these two kept my spirits up.



She loved the water and took to this boat right away. She jumped right in!



I'm posting this because this is the spot in our house where Ron proposed to me, and Sadie and Patton were all over him while he was on his knee. I'll never forget that.



Here she is, defending herself after I found a wounded stuffed animal. It really was Patton who did it, but I thought for sure she was guilty at first.



Ack! Caterpillar!




Face wash.







And that takes us up through 2007.

I think I'll end Part 2 here. I just got the call that her ashes are back. *sigh* Thanks again for all the comments and good thoughts.