Link to a fabric and book giveaway!

For my stitchy, creative friends:

Amy Barickman, the founder of Indygo Junction & The Vintage Workshop in Kansas City, is having a giveaway on her blog. Check out her link to see how to enter. It might do me some good to work on a project that is sweet and cute instead of subversive for a change!

Happy Monday!

Tschus.

Sunday Smorgasbord

It has been a very productive week! I've managed to crank out a few pieces of stitchery for people. I feel very fortunate to have a steady stream of orders as it makes me feel productive and useful. My self-esteem needed a boost, quite frankly. The tough part of this is that I'm at the end of the month before my next RA shot and my hands are hurting from stitching so much. But I am not going to complain about this!!

So while I'm stitching, I'm also watching a ton of movies and tv shows on Netflix. It helps to pass the time. I'm mainly watching episodes of Bones. Once in a while I get a hankering for a bad horror movie. Ron and I ran across The Human Centipede which we started watching last month but I shut it off after 30 minutes. How fucking disturbing!!! Has anyone seen this? Right now I'm exhausted from a workout and a pain pill so I told Ron if ever we are to finish this movie, now is the time. Who the hell thinks up this stuff? I really hope this guy dies a horrible death in the end. Wow.

So in viewing this, um, film I have run across some hilarious interpretations on Etsy.

Funny shit but an extremely messed up movie.

We also watched Wolfman the other night. I don't recommend it. It was extremely long and del Toro's acting wasn't very good. Maybe I'm just more of a zombie girl though.

I finally caught Congo which, as you should know, contains about 5 minutes of my beloved Bruce Campbell. I had to see the whole thing though. It wasn't as bad as it could have been although the lead actor's hair was quite distracting. We also gave Zombie Strippers a try. John Hawkes was in it. Wtf? I didn't even see him. Maybe if we had been able to watch the whole thing, we would have caught his performance. But not even Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson could compel us to watch more than 15 minutes of this train wreck. Christ, at least Traci Lords is in some funny movies.

My blogging skills suck today. I think I'm too out of it to think straight let alone be witty and creative. So I'll close this with a photo of my LMAO bookmark. Did your ass really fall off because you laughed so hard? Really? If so, maybe it looked like this.



Have a groovy Sunday. Tschus!

Serial housewifery (and doggie etcetera)

Hi, I'm Bex, and I'm a housewife.

It's been two months and thirteen days since I entered housewifery. For those late in the game, I quit my job because I was unhappy where I was and that compounded my numerous health issues. I'd like to say after leaving my position, I am completely stress-free and healthy. My health woes have not disappeared, however I am in the position to at least take better care of myself when I feel awful. In short, my life has improved immensely since I quit working.

My one rule to housewifery is that I must and will shower/bathe every day. However makeup and nice clothing are optional. Most days it's shorts or sweats and a t-shirt. So instead of looking like this:

Or even this:

I look more like this:

Ok not really. But I thought the image was funny.

This one might be more on par with how I feel:

I found myself on the couch and stitching so much that I wasn't noticing the piles of dog hair and dust layers accumulating around me. The past few days have been devoted to cleaning things up and organizing a bit. Stitching all day, by the way, is not conducive to weight loss.

Living on one income hasn't been too bad but it does make things really tight financially. We've decided to conserve as much as possible for the next four weeks. The heat is now set at 67 degrees and we aren't going out at all. [HINT: Please come visit so I don't lose what little social skills I have!!!]

In an effort to save money, we decided to stay in last night and play some board games in front of the cozy fireplace. After a few rounds of my score at -200 points in Trionimo's, we just sat back and watched the dogs work off their frustration. (It's been super cold out so no one wants to play outside lately.)

Here are some images from last night's "wild" party:



I has fire.



Patton with the discarded game tiles. (More like Bex had a game tantrum and tossed the tiles around.)



I just love this picture because Sadie has a stoner/drunk look on her face.



Patton in yer face



Tobin licking Patton before the gloves came off.







It looks terribly vicious and I won't lie; they have done some minor damage to each other before. However most of the time they are just playing together. Play time for them just happens to mean Tobin putting his entire mouth around Patton's neck.



Sadie is a stick in the mud and when too much fun is had, she intervenes by barking in their faces until they stop playing. We call her "The Fun Police."

Aren't we exciting? I don't understand why our friends aren't breaking down our door to hang out on the weekends.

That about sums things up for now. I've stubbornly refused to go back to the sinus doctor after he suggested surgery. But the biggest side effect with my RA drug is respiratory problems, specifically sinus congestion and infections. Since I have freakishly large sinus cavities on top of this drug's effects, I have had at least 4 infections in the last twelve months. I can't seem to shake off this last one either so back to the doctor I go. I'm worried what he will have to say. I'd like one calendar year to not include some kind of fucking surgery. That's not asking too much, is it?

Aaannnnd Ron has just teabagged my laptop. So with that, I will conclude this post for now. :)

(Again, I just don't understand why people don't want to come over. Hmmm.)

Tschus!

Which poop commercial is worse???

Let me start by asking what in the freakin' hell is wrong with our society today? I love poop humor probably more than the next guy, HOWEVER these commercials are a bit much. So take a look at these and tell me, which one is more disturbing? The babies shitting themselves in a poop contest? Or the bears wiping their asses and disparaging the notion of dingle berries?





Somehow I am guessing the bears have cleaner bums. I dunno. Food for thought.

Tschus.

Delightful

I'm using the lovely snow as an excuse to test the new blog system.

My meeting on the Plaza was cancelled today because of the snow.  While we live in an area with normal changes of the seasons, it's as if the memory of winter is erased from the collective minds of the community as soon as the first buds of spring appear.  People can't drive in snow around KC.  They tailgate, they don't use their blinkers, they slow down almost to a stop on the freeway to gawk at wrecks and stalled cars.  It's a nightmare.  And the urban core is so spread out from all the suburbs that it takes far too long to get anywhere and with no mass transit (aside from a few buses), that means everyone is driving.  Often it's one person per car. It adds up.  Therefore our meeting is cancelled.  I'm relieved because on a clear day it takes me about 45 minutes to get to where I was going.

To burn off some energy, I riled the dogs up outside using a high pitched voice and Pupperoni treats.



Check out Patton's face (left).  He's juuuuust about to sneeze.



Yaarrr!! Tobin has Pirate Face. And Sadie is barking at me; as if incessant barking equals treats.



More barking!



Ok, I shut up. Can I have one now? How about now???



Fabio, err Tobin.

I would have made a snow angel but I haven't been able to scoop poop in a few weeks. That's a gamble I'm just not willing to make right now.

Stay warm, keep your pets indoors and take it easy on the brakes.



Tschus.

Vee Dee

I've managed to get a few things stitched up.  I seem to have a little creative burst and here is what I have finished so far:







I have some more ideas and some are already in patterns. The above zombie valentines are doing fairly well. They take a lot longer to make then I thought but I like them. Hopefully I can keep up the momentum. Sometimes stitching all day means I don't get anything done around the house and the joints don't always care for it.

The weather is finally freezing and there is a bit of snow here and there. I took a couple photos around town in the last week or so. I've been fighting bronchitis and some aches and pains. It hasn't been much fun but it could be worse. I'll try to take some photos tomorrow when I drive up to The Plaza.



Sometimes I do get up and watch the sun rise.



Gas tanks?



We think those are natural gas derricks.



It's supposed to get ugly outside again tomorrow. I say "ugly" because, while normally I love snow storms, I hate them when I have to travel up to KC during rush hour. Maybe I'll get lucky and can get home before it's too terrible.

Tschus.

Hermit Bex

Ever have one of those days where you can't get off your ass and do something?  That's me.  Since moving I find myself further away from my old haunts, such as favorite stores, doctors's offices, restaurants, etc.  And when I really need to do something, like pick up a prescription that can't be called in, I find myself very pissy about having to leave the house.

Hermit Bex is back.



I also feel a bit closed off by my own emotions.  Sometimes things happen that we have a hard time getting passed and in an effort to spare others our whining and bitching, we just quit seeing people altogether.  Sometimes this applies to me.  This stupid pregnancy thing was really tough.  I thought I was past it, but my doctor's physician assistant called a couple weeks ago to check in on me since I never went back for more tests.  While talking to her, I completely lost my shit and that night had drinks with some girl friends.  I lost my shit there too over crappy white wine.  And today I just turned down a baby shower invitation.  I'm just not ready.

To confirm, I had some really fucked up baby dreams last night.  It was one of those dreams where you are fighting some weird, horrible monster.  I was trapped with other people in this house and we were getting ready for what I can only describe as the "boss battle."  (God I play too many video games.)  This girl, no more than twelve, was pregnant and of course gave birth right when the attack came.  I was screaming at Ron to get some rags or something to put underneath her because, of course, she was going to stain the carpet, dammit.  So he threw some puppy piddle pads at me and that's what I used.  (Wtf?)  And she gave birth to the most fucked up looking baby/placenta thing.  It was covered in goo and so small.  I thought it was dead, that she wasn't at term yet.  But after clearing some goop off of it it start to squawk.  Not cry, squawk.  It looked more like a baby bird.  Anyways, I remember feeling revulsion and then relief, because the stupid baby/bird thing was alive.  And at some point it morphed into a normal looking newborn baby.  Someone told me I should keep it because we wanted a child so much and this girl was too young to me a mother.  And I was sobbing in my dream because I knew she wanted to keep it.   I have no idea what the hell happened with the big boss battle because I woke up.  Geez I hope we kicked its ass.  I also had an adoption dream and while the scenery was very dark and disturbing, it wasn't nearly as interesting as the bird baby dream.

I really wish I could draw because this would make for an interesting project. Maybe I'll try to sketch out a fucked up baby bird thing one of these days.

My self-imposed hermit-y behavior will have to end shortly however as this weekend I have training for pet therapy teams at the local jail. I'm a bit nervous about it though. On the one hand, it's good to bring Patton to people who have no physical impairments, such as a wheelchair or horrible arthritis. He's not tall enough to be easily petted by people with physical disabilities. So he would be great for incarcerated people who are going through rehab but otherwise able to bend down and pet him. On the other hand, it's not good to be an attractive woman in this environment. I'm not fishing for compliments here, this is just the reality. Having worked in a prison, I know that incarcerated people are highly manipulative and they easily fixate on people. It's more of a personal safety issue. However I don't want paranoia to limit what could potentially be a very positive experience. Patton has suffered abuse. He has scars and he has that scared look on his face. His story and his very calm demeanor really affect people. I'll give it a shot and if my DANGER WILL ROBINSON alarm goes off, I can always stop going there.



Later on Saturday evening we are having drinks and finger food at the neighbors. My first impression of them is that they are typical suburban in looks and style. I'm guessing that they are from the area, if not somewhere Midwestern. They have a small child so that is why we are going over there. They don't exactly look like the sailor-swearing, tattooed, eccentric people I normally identify with. I'm not really sure they know what they are getting into with us. We enjoy zombie movies, sitting in our underwear all weekend, drinking shots and playing video games. Most Johnson County women aren't into stitching swear words and playing with pet rats. But we are good social chameleons and can blend in well enough for at least a couple of hours, if necessary.

Ok the shower beckons. I may be introverted but I'll be damned if I turn into a SMELLY hermit.

Tschus.