I hope if she ever reads this that she doesn't mind I cut and pasted the following out of her blog. I had someone today tell me that she doesn't want to say the wrong thing and only wants to help. Danielle, I love you too and trust me, just you reaching out to me means the world. So to everyone, this is pretty much what not to say to a couple facing infertility:
- "Don't Tell Them to Relax - no amount of relaxing would have dissolved my septum. Nor will it help other people who are struggling with various known and unknown cases of infertility.
- Don't Minimize the Problem - Talking about all the petty benefits to being childless is a sucky thing to do. (sleeping in, not getting barfed on, going out for beers)
- Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen - Great. I already feel shitty, now you are reminding me to feel guilty about my own pain...
- Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents - I don't believe this crap anyhow.
- Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy - This is the motherload. If I have to explain why, then you may possibly be too insensitive to be anyone's friend. Hope your kid loves you, because you are a piece!"
I went to my MRI today but won't find out the results until mid to late next week. Holy crap, I'm so thankful that I'm not clausterphobic. They lay you down on a table and remotely drive your table into a narrow, plastic tube. The only preparation you get is to wear ear plugs and head phones because it is incredibly loud. It's a repetitive "wah wah wah" sound and it varies in tone depending on what buttons they push (I'm assuming.) The only really bad part was that towards the end a louder "wah wah wah" sound started, very intense, and I actually FELT my hands tingle and a bubbling in my ribs and abdomen. It felt like there was something under my skin, in my body cavity, trying to burrow its way out. I can only describe it as the scene from Alien:
I pressed the call button at this point and asked them if it was normal. Basically I was told that it is, it DOES happen to some people, but they don't tell you that ahead of time because they don't want to freak anyone out anymore then they already are. Christ. Luckily the MRI didn't last an hour but only around 20 minutes in the tube. I'm still wigged out about that sensation. Fucking hell.
If you don't know what to say to me or how to act around me, don't worry. To be honest, I'm not even sure wtf to do with myself. I'm trying to stay positive and take things day by day, or at least procedure by procedure. I don't want to be the constant emo, depressive bitch that I feel I am. I want to be happy Bex, living life to the fullest. It's just very hard to have to work so hard to be happy when things feel very frustrating and fucked up. I promise to keep trying and I hope everyone has patience with me. I'll try to have patience with myself too. As a good friend recently said to me, I have a great husband, pets who love me and good friends. Thank God for that because I'm really leaning hard on those things right now.
So now what? Well it's the weekend and I pissed away my Friday worrying about shit I can't control instead of going to work. So I'll need to do some work this weekend as well as find healthy ways to destress. I'm seriously considering going to the gun range and taking some photographs. Oh and we are hitting the gym Saturday and Sunday so I can help my poor joints. I almost forgot I need to work on keeping the ol' rheumatoid arthritis at bay. How old am I again? 80? Oh yeah, 32. Ha!
The other great thing I've learned from reading the Uterus Divided blog is that I don't need to apologize for being angry, sad, hurt, frustrated and let's admit it, a little insane. I can blog about it and be honest because I know in my heart that I have good times, I laugh, smile and enjoy the world around me. But dammit, I need a way to get this shit off my chest or the crazy will take over for good.
PS: I've set this bad bitch up to take comments even if you aren't registered. Don't make me regret it.
Tschus.
You are very welcome. I am glad my blog is helpful to you. Be sure also to join the MA Yahoo group I mention. It is full of wise women who know just where you are. They can help giude you through the process.
ReplyDeleteMy guess would be that if you have had laparoscopy for endo they would have seen it if you were bicornuate. I can't believe a Dr. would go in to remove endo and not have a gander at your uterus. So that leaves you with a possible septum. The surgery to remove it is no different from what you have already had. Piece of cake, right?
As for the MRI - ask for a disk of your scan if you can. Your RE/Dr. will probably never see the images, just a report from the radiologist. And if the radiologist is not well versed in MA's (which many are not) they may just call it BU and send you on your way. This is why MRI are tricky as diagnostic tools. It is worth nothing if the dude reading the images is ignorant. So get the image, comb through them, post them to the MA Yahoo group and have the ladies and the list consult help with the call. Dr.'s would have my head on a platter for suggesting such a thing, but I read my own right! So they can all bite me:)
Best of luck to you. Please feel free to be in touch if you have any questions. I am very, very happy to help. If I can spare anyone even an ouch of upset, I will.
xo
m from auterusdivided.
One more thing. This should NOT be considered "infertility" by your insurance (assuming you have it.) It is a birth defect and if coded correctly on the form should only cost you you standard copays.
ReplyDeletedude. MRIs = bad. they stuck me in one of those for 45 minutes once and i thought i was going to lose it. i thought i was going crazy. when they pulled me out the lady said "you did pretty good!" and then she saw how sweaty i was and she said, "maybe you weren't doing so good!" if i ever have another MRI they're going to have to sedate me for sure.
ReplyDeleteblogs are for bitching and moaning. that's what it's all about. speaking of blogging, i guess i better get on one myself. heh.
Good advice Meredith, thank you! I'll be sure to ask for a disc of my scans. I'm pretty curious to see what my insides look like.
ReplyDeleteAndy: 45 minutes in that tube would be sheer hell. Sedatives are the way to go.
Hi there - I have been online today trying to do some reserach about Hysteroscopic septum resection and have stumbled on your blog -- thank you for writing what you do!
ReplyDeleteI have the procedure scheduled in early May and I'm really nervous. Can you tell me from your experience what happens on that day of hte procedure - like how long does it take, what pain you felt during or after, how the anesthesia went for you, could you get back to work quickly or did you end up sleeping for days or what? I have the 'hospital' info about this from my dr. but feel like I need specific details that I'm not quite getting -- help!
Stacy: I haven't had the procedure yet. I'm having it done on the 24th. However I've had the laparoscopic part done twice before. If you are having a lap with your hysteroscope then you can expect to have a little incision made in your belly button and one right by the pubic bone in your bikini line. Through one of those they puff up your abdomen with air so they can see all your organs. The other one they will put a camera into and/or surgical tools if needed. If they find a cyst or endometriosis, they will laser it off while they are there. The purpose of doing the lap during the hysteroscope is to keep an eye on the uterus and insure no perforation occurs in the uterus while they are poking around in there, doing your resection.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how long it will take to feel back to normal but my last lap it took about a week to recover. The first couple days I had the pain from the air in my body trying to dissipate. Then there was the soreness in the abdomen and at the incision sites.
Have you had anesthesia before? For me, I can't pee after wards. It takes a bladder anti-spasmodic for me to go. This doesn't happen for a lot of people though. If you experience nausea, make sure the doctor and nurses know that. They can give you compazine or some other kind of anti-nausea medicine to keep that from happening. If you are still nervous, ask if you can talk to a nurse or a physician's assistant in person before the procedure. Also, you will have the opportunity to talk to your anesthesiologist before you the procedure and you can ask him/her specific questions. That's always nice to have that option. Does this help?