There isn't a lot to say that I haven't said before. I'm still trying to find a balance between holding onto memories of her and letting go of the pain. When you only have 7 years with someone so dear to you, you tend to hold onto every little memory you can. Even if those memories are extremely painful. Because much of my memories were retained from her sick years, it's a bit hard to think back on anything pleasant.
So here are some things I remember about her:
She took some photography lessons and one of my brothers and I were the test subjects for several shots. I forgot about that until I dug through some photos this morning. Guess I know where I got that from!
She sewed a lot and did a lot of needlework. I picked that up too.
She was very passionate about things and took everything personally. (This is what I've been told but that also would explain a lot of my behavior.)
She loved to talk to her friends on the phone. I picked up my dad's antisocial tendencies instead.
She was incredibly strong. She held on for four years after her diagnosis. I remember her shopping for wigs. I remember her prosthetic bras. I remember her explaining to me that she was going to die soon.
She really loved her family. She was an amazing mother and I always felt a lot of love from her.
I have a very hard time seeing her sisters because they all remind me so much of her. I remember all the aunts and uncles visiting our house and later only realizing they did so because they knew she would soon be gone.
Well, I think I'll just stop right there. I wrote far more then I had intended. Here are some photos I dug out today. Sorry if this is disjointed. Tschus.
Mom, my sister and I. I was maybe 5?
I often found her lying down on the couch, too tired to move around but still wanting to interact with all of us.
Easter. Hey, it was bright outside.
When she wasn't resting, she was in the kitchen. Cooking, on the phone or just relaxing.
We went on this outdoor adventure to pick chokecherries. I was mad at my dad because he wouldn't let us stay over night.
I have no idea when this was taken. I like the plaid slacks and the poofy shirt.
The chokecherry trip, referenced above. It was resting time again. I think this was in May 1983.
